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UFC 291, The Morning After: Priscila Cachoeira, the dirtiest fighter on UFC’s roster? ‘Intentionally pulled boobs out’ | Video

Here’s what you may have missed!

Cheating is a time honored tradition in mixed martial arts (MMA).

Love it or hate it, even the most clearly defined rules are treated more like gray areas once the cage door locks. Everyone knows every fighter gets a free eye poke, d—k kick, or fence grab per contest. Sometimes, they get all three in one fight without a point deduction or even warning!

On the whole, fighters are the least likely group of people to get puritanical about the fine details of the rule set. Regarding my own professional win via disqualification, I once wrote, “Whatever, it’s a fight. I don’t care that much about the rules either. But, the referee does, so at least try to be sneaky about it.”

All of this is to say: the bar is low for following the rules in MMA. Michael Chandler can fish hook Dustin Poirier in high-definition, laugh it off, and still be seen as a good guy in MMA (details on that here). Tito Ortiz once argued, “If you ain’t cheatin’, you’re not trying” after losing a point for grabbing the cage. The most celebrated knockout in PRIDE FC history comprised a headbutt, and Chuck Liddell was infamous for eye-poking a majority of the opponents he knocked out.

Remember: rules were tacked on after MMA’s genesis to make for a more palatable product, not because the athletes desired class and sophistication.

All of this history brings us to Priscila Cachoeira, who was submitted by Miranda Maverick last night (Sat., July 29, 2023) at UFC 291. And hot darn, “Zombie Girl” might just be the dirtiest fighter in UFC! She’s continually clawing — literally! — her way up the ranks, trying to eventually one-up Gilbert Yvel’s decade-long battle against regulations and officials.

Prior to last night, Cachoeira was already infamous for trying to fingerf—k Gillian Robertson’s eye sockets. She didn’t manage anything quite as dramatic against Maverick, but it was still an ugly affair. A fence grab, fish hook, and apparent oil check showed her frustration at getting soundly out-grappled.

Seriously, Cachoeira fights like she vehemently hates all of her opponents’ orifices. In roughly every profession in every part of the world, publicly sticking your finger into a coworker’s crotch is considered a no-no. In MMA, the referee usually doesn’t see or acknowledge it, then people post memes on Twitter and laugh it off.

Note the questionable finger positioning at the start of the clip above, as Cachoeira attempts to execute a butt drag defense to the high-crotch takedown

It continually grew more suspect when Maverick locked in an armbar. The term “Brazilian tap” means to tap just once or halfway in the hopes that your opponent loosens up their grip in reaction, that way you can try to escape without “really” tapping. It’s both a rude generalization (fighters of all nations have Brazilian tapped) and extremely accurate description as to the trick Cachoeira tried to pull!

Luckily, Maverick didn’t buy it and forced a crystal clear tapout. She looked great, dealing with a dangerous and ill-mannered foe perfectly. Cachoeira, meanwhile, still has no idea how to wrestle.

Moving forward, anyone who agrees to fight Priscila Cachoeira should be well aware of her ... proclivities. And the referee ought to keep an eye on those digits!

For complete UFC 291: “Poirier vs. Gaethje 2” results and play-by-play, click HERE.

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