Jokes about “the circus is in town” get made all the time in combat sports when you see odd mismatches or exploitative nonsense. Even major promotions like Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) aren’t immune to this phenomenon (see James Toney ... or CM Punk).
In the past few years, this has gotten amped up, with YouTube creators boxing and Power Slap being relentlessly promoted.
No promotion dives head-first into it quite like Full Metal Dojo’s Fight Circus. The main difference — and to this author, what makes it truly enjoyable rather than a train wreck — is that Fight Circus doesn’t take itself seriously. No one is trying to sell you that a professional wrestler is going to beat a trained mixed martial artist (MMA) with a straight face here — you’re more likely to see those same two hypothetical combatants do a stand-up fight where only kicks are allowed.
Did you read the sub-headline before clicking this article and saw Rampage Jackson and Bob Sapp get mentioned? Yea, we’re gonna get to see those two very large men share one giant t-shirt and kickbox two other men also trapped inside their own shared shirt. It’s going to be dumb and hilarious and actually kind of fun to watch, rather than seeing 44-year old tread-worn MMA guys get knocked out yet again in a standup sport.
And it all goes down TONIGHT (Sat., April 1, 2023) live from from Phuket, Thailand, with a 7 p.m. ET start time on FITE.tv (watch it here). Indeed, it’s Fight Circus 6, “The Rise or Fall of Sloppy Balboa!”
Fight Circus 6 Quick Results:
Rampage Jackson & Bob Sapp def. Woody and Jon Nutt — TKO (0:37 Rd 3) — HIGHLIGHTS
Sativa & Indica def. Souris Manfredi — Split decision 29-28, 30-28, 28-29
Steve Banks def. Petz & The Gang — Banks two rounds to 1
Grab Driver def. Food Panda — Decision (unread scores)
Ping & Ploy def. Fernie & Kristina (tug of war) — 0:27
Joel Fratello def. Kushal Vyas — KO (2:00 Rd 3)
Two more guys fighting that they don’t even tell us their names in blindfolded boxing action. Grey Shorts def. Black Shorts — KO (2:18 Rd 2)
Walter John Veale def. two unnamed dudes — KO (slams 0:12 Rd 1)
Yellow Shorts def. Pink Shorts (they didn’t say their names) — KO (1:40 Rd 3)
Campbell Symes def. Kyoken Tampiyanan — TKO (0:43 Rd 1)
*** Once again, Fite.tv is your streaming home for this event ***
Fight Circus 6 Play-By-Play Updates:
Rampage Jackson & Bob Sapp (a.k.a. TwoPollo RamSapp Creed) vs. Woody & Jon Nutt (a.k.a. Sloppy Balboa) in Siamese Boxing
Round 1: Pinnacle of silliness here. Rampage doing the best work so far. Sapp and Rampage both going after Jon Nutt. Down goes Jon. Sapp going across the shirt against Jon while Rampage hits the heck outta Woody. Jon Nutt gets hit in the ribs and he’s down again.
Round 2: Sapp going after Woody now, trying to spread out the damage. Ref steps in for what looks like a standing 8, but Rampage keeps punching (jokingly) at the ref who goes for a single. Fun times. Poor Jon Nutt looks uh, sloppy. The crowd chants for “ONE MORE ROUND!”, which brings out a middle finger from the inner arm of poor Jon Nutt. We’re going straight to round three.
Round 3: Jon Nutt is very worse for the wear here and they’re picking on the poor, coked up old man. He goes down again and the ref saves ‘em by ending the fight.
FINAL RESULT: Rampage Jackson & Bob Sapp defeat Woody & Jon Nutt - TKO, Round 3 0:37 — WATCH HIGHLIGHTS!
Souris Manfredi vs Sativa & Indica in 2-on-1 MMA
Round 1: “Run THC”, as Mike Goldberg calls them, are experienced Muay Thai fighters. Manfredi, however, is a Lethwei champion. Manfredi ignoring one person and just trying to get one person out. Sativa manages to turn and is on top... elbowing the back of the head, which the ref doesn’t seem to care about. Manfredi goes after Indica, gets elbowed hard by Sativa.
Round 2: Manfredi keeping to the aggressive strategy. Gets hit by one while she focuses on the other. Manfredi with the takedown, but they just land in a pile. Nothing happening, so the ref stands her up. Manfredi catches a kick, gets a takedown and manages to avoid most of the damage from the other person while she tries for a choke.
Round 3: Manfredi is basically the only person to last this long in a 2-vs-1 fight, which speaks a bit to her toughness against roughly equally sized opponents. Manfredi catches a kick and dumps Indica. Gets in a nice 1-2 on Sativa. Indica with a takedown, but gets elbowed from the bottom. Big right from Sativa. Indica seems exhausted here and can barely stay out of a guillotine attempt from Manfredi at the end.
FINAL RESULT: Sativa & Indica defeat Souris Manfredi via split decision 29-28, 30-28, 28-29
Steve Banks vs. Petz & The Gang in 4-on-1 MMA
Round 1: OK, we’ve got Banks in a “survive as long as you can for more money” fight. Who knows. Beat up Banks, take his backpack is the goal. Banks can only strike. Banks trying to stave them off, but after about 40 seconds, Petz rips off the bag. He is having some trouble opening it, so Banks goes after ‘em, but his partner in the gang manages to open it.
10-9 Petz & Gang
Round 2: Banks tries putting the backpack on his chest this time to see it that works better. One of the straps breaks already and he’s reduced to grabbing it. He’s bear-hugging the bag and the dudes aren’t taking advantage of the situation by not punching Banks! They can’t out-wrestle the big man and lose
Round 3: Last two dudes are in the ring. Banks goes back to putting it on his back like normal. The boys back him up immediately and are grabbing that bag. No one is striking here, which seems like a failure. Banks gets it ripped out of his hands, but dives on it before the schmucks can open it. He outlasts the rest of the round as they still can’t figure out that they can hit the man.
FINAL RESULT: Steve Banks defeats Petz & The Gang two backpacks to one.
Grab Driver vs. Food Panda in “Whitecollar Brawl” (whatever that means)
Round 1: So these are two delivery driver company folks and uh... I don’t think they these fellas are trained. Let’s find out. Grab in black/green, Panda in white/pink. Bareknuckle boxing is the sport. You know what, I guess every random looking shlub in Thailand has some training, because they’re showing some nice jabs in here. Ref is tired of the dancing and wants more action. Grab looking decent here.
Round 2: Nutt letting the fellas take their delivery jackets off for this round. Yea, they look a lot more like fighters without a bomber jacket on. Panda with a nice shot. Oh BIG shot from Grab! Panda is down and stumbling. He collects himself and he’s back up. Grab backing Panda up into the corner and stalking him. Panda jabs his way back. Grab still on the offensive here.
Round 3: Panda starting of with a nice jab. Right hand, too. Grab with a really nice feint and right hand. I want to apologize for my original comments of “these guys look like they aren’t trained”. In case I’m ever in Thailand and run into them. I am very sorry boys, you’re clearly very skilled here. Grab bobs and weaves and hits the body.
FINAL RESULT: Grab Taxi defeats Food Panda Delivery (scores not read)
Ring Girl Tug of War
Well, the pool in the middle wouldn’t work too well, because it might screw up the next fight, so they put the mascots and some plastic balls in a wading pool. The ref has laid down in the middle of the pool. The mascots are cheating because why not.
FINAL RESULT: Ping & Ploy.
Kushal Vyas vs. Joel Fratello in “Wheel of Violence”
Round 1: Wheel of Violence time. Round 1 is going to be Kicks and Knees only for a 90-second round. Lotta teeps to start so far. Pair of leg kicks. Fratello tries a jump kick and misses. Low kicks are the only thing really landing solid. Joel mostly dictating the pace with the front kicks.
Round 2: Three minutes of Muay Thai up next. Fratello with a nice jab. Vyas lands an elbow. Kushal with a nice overhand. Both men landing rights. Vyas hits a nice left hand, fails at a cartwheel kick. Big straight right from Fratello. Another one later in the combo knocks Vyas to the canvas with a minute left! That right hand is hitting Vyas’ ear repeatedly. Spinning back kick to the guts and Kushal is down again. Vyas still in it, throwing and landing. Fratello lands a head kick at the bell and they’re trying to decide if that’s it.
Round 3: A man in a Whiteclaw costume spins for the final round and we’ve got MMA for only 3 minutes, despite the sign saying 5. Executive decision by ol’ Nutt to make it 3 so they don’t run over time. Low kick by Fratello, good right hand by Vyas. They crash down to the mat and Vyas is on top briefly before losing position. Vyas clearly has no idea what to do on bottom and is getting GNP’d pretty good here. Halfway through the round. Thirty more seconds later and the ref ends it.
FINAL RESULT: Joel Fratello def. Kushal Vyas via TKO (ground & pound) 2:00 Round 3