The celebrity/influencer boxing circuit really knows how to take a supposed sporting event and turn it into a theater of the absurd. While this is a back-handed compliment, do understand that it is still a compliment — if you aren’t a participant, or for some reason dearly attached to any of the participants, this is silly, low-brow fun. There’s no need to hit each other in the face with your microphones fellas, but sure, why not. You’re gonna toss plastic bottles and hock loogies at each other? Sounds lovely, I’ll have some popcorn and eyeroll from the comfort and safety of my couch. So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, pronouns of all ages, let’s sit back, relax and enjoy the circus, because it has come to town yet again.
Given the shenanigans of the pre-weigh-in presser, the fact that they built a plexiglass cage for the face-offs is probably a good thing
This event will be shown live on DAZN, and the official stream is RIGHT HERE.
Today, Saturday, October 14th, 2023, live from Manchester, England, we’ve got the weird, the wild and the wacky possibly happening in a boxing ring. The main event isn’t even the people we’re all talking about. Your top bout is KSI taking on Tommy Fury, in what has been an acrimonious buildup mostly involving Tom’s very loud dad, John.
The name that the internet is here for, however, is Logan Paul. His opponent is mostly immaterial as far as the eyeballs are concerned — no one cares about Danis aside from our very small corner of the mixed martial arts (MMA) and Brazilian jiu jitsu (BJJ) worlds. But if we’re talking insufferable public-facing personalities and awful trolling, our boy Dylan is possibly the equal of the professional-wrestling, dumb-video-posting punchline. In fairness to the first part, if nothing else, Paul has shown himself to be a shockingly decent participant in the stage of pro wrestling, much to the surprise and delight of fans of that pastime.
Oh, goodness, I nearly forgot. MMA and bareknuckle boxing’s king of wildness himself, Mike “Platinum” Perry is on hand to substitute for either man should there be any last minute cancellation. Quite frankly, that’s something that neither Paul or Dannis are probably looking forward to, as Perry is a clear-cut step up from each other in the combat sports echelon.
Speaking of, you should probably check out this very good primer/preview of the two key combatants that everyone is here to see (even if KSI and Fury are #1 on the bill). Here’s the two lads banging on some plastic as they get mad:
The rest of the card is chock full of some of the more entertaining and better boxers on the influencer circuit, so the undercard promises some decent action, too.
KSI vs. Tommy Fury date & start time
Saturday, October 14. 7 p.m. UK / 2 p.m. ET
Main event ringwalks (approximately): 10:50 p.m. UK / 5:50 p.m. ET
Again, fans can stream the event at the official DAZN website RIGHT HERE.
Misfits Boxing “Prime” quick results
183lbs. Tommy Fury def. KSI — Majority Decision (57-57, 57-56)
195lbs. Logan Paul def. Dillon Danis — Disqualification (he won every round before that) — HIGHLIGHTS!
165lbs. Slim Albaher def. Salt Papi — Fourth-Round TKO (2:54) — HIGHLIGHTS!
130lbs. Deen the Great def. Walid Sharks — Unanimous Decision (49-44, 48-45) — HIGHLIGHTS!
170lbs. Anthony Taylor def. King Kenny — Unanimous Decision (49-45x3)
175lbs. My Mate Nate def. Whindersson Nunes — Unanimous Decision (40-36x3)
165lbs. Wassabi Lmao vs. Los Pineda Coladas tag team match — DRAW
170lbs. Ed Matthews def. Swarmz — First-Round KO — HIGHLIGHTS!
112lbs. Astrid Wett def. Alexia Grace — Unanimous Decision — HIGHLIGHTS!
220lbs. DTG def. S-X — First-Round TKO
275lbs. Tempo Arts def. Chase DeMoor — Split Decision
Misfits Boxing “Prime” full results
Olajide Olatunji “KSI” vs Tommy Fury
Round 1: Fury in black, KSI in green. KSI tries a big right hand to start. Fury backs him up into a corner and they dirty box. KSI lands a nice overhand that backs up Fury. Fury with a lead left. Another. They clinch and KSI complains about a shot to the back of the head. Ref calls time and lets him recover. Replays show that was legit a shot to the back of the head. They keep getting into clinches and thumping to the body. KSI jabs to the body.
Round 2: Fury lands a nice right. Fury punches him in the back of the head in a clinch and now the ref takes a point. Short and powerful right hand by KSI. They clinch and KSI is landing some nice ones in close. Both men to the body. They clinch and Fury nearly hits the back of the head again. KSI leads with a right.
Round 3: Clinch and they both employ dirty boxing. It’s been a lot of active clinching from both men. KSI gets a right in, Fury lands a left. Fury backs up KSI and lands a jab. Another shot near the back of the head and the ref is lecturing Fury. KSI fires in quick into a clinch. There’s a nice counter right by Fury.
Round 4: More punching into clinches. Not sure who gets more or less credit for initiating them, but both fighters look to be content with it. This sequence repeats itself over and over. KSI looks like he’s getting a little bit tired, but he’s still moving well. Rights by both men, Fury’s looked like it landed better. Hard to call this round.
10-9 Fury in a very close round
Round 5: KSI gets in an overhand right into the clinch and they are whaling away on the inside. Good lands by both men. We get a punch-count reading by the booth and they have it at 26-26. They collide and break. Both men get in lefts. A bit of blood from the mouth of KSI. KSI just misses an uppercut.
10-9 KSI in another very close one
Round 6: Tons of punch and clutching from both men. They swing out of a break and both get in rights. Dull round here in the middle of it. Someone is yelling “EMPTY THE CLIP” here and man, that would be nice. KSI with a right. There’s an overhand right, too.
Final result: Tommy Fury by majority decision
Logan Paul vs. Dillon Danis
Round 2: Paul with a head/body combo. Danis is walking forward, but halfway through the round, he hasn’t thrown a serious punch. Slapping arm punch by Danis connects. Some big right hands back up Danis. He’s hitting the ribs and the side of the guard repeatedly. That was smart by Logan Paul to do that at the end of the round where he can rest immediately after.
Round 3: Danis being very ineffective here. Little back-handed slap there. Paul with a pair of body jabs. Paul hits the body and the guard repeatedly. Danis lays down and motions him to come into guard. Danis lands a left, but is still getting outlanded at least 10-to-1.
Round 4: Danis lands a nice lead right. Finally, a second punch from Danis, too. He lands the right again. Paul spams the 1-2 over and over while Danis just lets it hit him in the face and gloves. Danis jabs forward, but misses. Danis blocks a bunch of strike attempts and mean mugs. Eats a hook around the guard. Paul jabs to the body. Triple-jab and a right by Paul. He landed two of those jabs, too.
Round 5: Paul gets in a right between the gloves. He backs Danis into a corner and goes body-head repeatedly. Finally Danis fires back with a right hand, but not before he ate a good half dozen punches. Paul ducks under a Danis lunge and olé’s him. Danis isn’t finding Paul with much of anything. Paul with a nice combo, punctuated by a left to the cheek. The broadcasters tell us that Paul has outlanded Danis 82-9 so far. Lol.
Round 6: Paul backs up Danis and lands a right to the body, then to the head. Honestly, if I were Logan, I would punch him directly in the dick and take a point deduction because he’s so far up right now. Danis goes for a double leg, and can’t even get that. Ref takes a point. Swing and a miss from Danis. Paul gets Danis into a corner and pounds away. Paul ducks down and Danis tries for a guillotine, can’t even get that. Paul gives Danis a punch while he’s on his back just for good measure. Danis steps forward to do something dumb, but security swarms the ring to prevent anything really stupid from happening.
Final result: Logan Paul by DQ (Buffer said he won every round on the judges scorecards)
Nathaniel Bustamante “Salt Papi” vs. Sulieman “Slim” Albaher
Round 1: Salt in blue and white, Slim in black and green. Salt takes center-ring to start. He lunges in with a left. Papi bullies Slim into a corner and starts flurrying away. Slim gets in a flashing right hand. Salt to the body. Salt with a trio of lefts to the body and head of Slim. Slim lands a right and they clinch.
Round 2: Salt eats a right, but ignores it and gets Slim into a phone booth. Salt flurrying away on a stationary Slim. They’re not full power shots, but he’s got enough on them that Slim needs to GTFO of there before he takes much more. He gets a clinch and makes the ref break them up. Solid left hand from the Philippino.
Round 3: Both men are throwing here. They’re both landing well, too. Great left hand by Salt. Slim looking a bit tired here. Clubbing right hand wallops him. Slim fires back and he lands a couple of rights. Lefts by both men. Again. Solid rock’em sock’em.
10-9 Salt in a close round
Round 4: Slim with a nice right hand. Easily his best punch of the night. There’s another right. And a third nearly drops Salt! He holds on to get the ref break. Salt is out of it, not coming forward anymore. Slim with an uppercut. Body-head. Salt tries to fire back a 1-2, eats a right. They’re both tired hear. Slim with a pair of nice jabs on a now stationary Salt. Salt comes back now with a left. He’s trying to get back on the front foot. Couple of jabs. Great counter right hand by Slim stuns Salt and he follows it up with another that drops Salt! He’s up, but not offering a lot and the ref steps in to end it!
Final result: Slim Albaher by TKO
Nurideen Shabazz “Deen the Great” vs. Walid “Sharks” Muhsein
Round 1: Walid in blue, Deen in pink. Walid with an immediate left hand that staggers Deen back. Deen comes right back and connects with his right flush. Sharks gets in a right in response a couple seconds later. Clubbing left by Deen. Rights from both men just clip each others’ jaws. Heck of a right by Walid.
Round 2: Deen gets in a couple clean rights. Walid blasts Deen, but eats a straight right and down he goes on one knee! Walid back up, but he’s getting hit a lot now. Walid isn’t blocking much. He fires back, but Walid is getting hit more than he lands. Sweet uppercut by Deen. Oh man, what a counter right hand that puts Walid on his butt. He makes the count. Eats an uppercut.
Round 3: Walid walks forward, but directly into a right hand. He’s still not fully recovered from the last round. Walid trying to recover. He’s not without some offence here, but he’s getting hit very clean and very often. Deen blasts the mouthpiece out of Walid’s mouth. There’s a nice 2-3 from Sharks.
Round 4: Walid lands a 1-2, eats a counter right. Deen does a nice job ducking and circling off the ropes. Good right hand by Walid. That seems to piss off Deen who fires away on Sharks. Deen knocks the mouthpiece out again and continues to whale away on him until Walid clinches on him. Huge counter-right staggers Walid again. He’s on baby giraffe legs. Deen waiting to counter here, eats the 1-2 and misses said telegraphed counter. Walid pushes forward and he’s landing clean now. Props to him for not quitting.
Round 5: Sharks with a left hand. Deen ducks down, but into a headlock and Walid squeezes the neck a bit much there. Deen not happy with that. Walid still walking forward and so far winning this round. He lands a nice left that staggers Deen! Just over a minute left. Deen tries to hug Sharks and gets tossed through the ropes. Another clean left by Walid and Deen is wobbly. Walid landing a lot here, Deen not able to grab ahold of Walid. Walid with a clean right hand.
Final result: Deen the Great by unanimous decision
“King” Kenny Ojuederie vs. Anthony Taylor
Round 1: Kenny in yellow and black, Taylor in pink. Taylor sprints forward at the bell into a clinch. Every time either the ref breaks them apart, Taylor quickly moves forward into a clinch and blasts to the body. Kenny gets a right in. Nearly all clinch boxing this opening round.
Round 2: Taylor rushes in, gets in a left despite eating a jab. Taylor not doing much other than clinching and pitty-patting the sides of Kenny. Kenny isn’t getting off anything, however, as Taylor is smothering all of his offense. Taylor with an overhand into a punch and clutch.
Round 3: Kenny tries to be aggressive, but Taylor’s forward pressure puts them into a clinch again. Taylor gets hit to the back of the head and the ref gives him time to recover. Taylor sprints in with a right hand. If Kenny could ever learn a check hook, he’d have some way of dealing with Taylor. There’s a decent right hand by “King”. Kenny still mostly all unable to deal with a simple bum rush here.
Round 4: Taylor gets in and actually throws a nice combo. Taylor slips a bit, Kenny takes advantage and tries to blast Taylor, but slips and falls himself. Good entry by Taylor with his overhand right. And again. Oh wow, the ref just took a point from Kenny for holding? Wow. Kenny just unable to deal with the aggression.
Round 5: Taylor slips again. This time after Taylor is back up, Kenny is very aggressive on his own and finally lands some good shots. Taylor in and out, and now as Kenny follows, Taylor runs from him. He’s just not good at the entries here. They separate on a break and he doesn’t throw a punch until they’re hugging each other again. Just no sense of timing on someone who is walking forward to him. At least Kenny is walking forward this time, rather than sitting back. Taylor clips in a left.
Final result: Anthony Taylor by unanimous decision
Whindersson Nunes vs. Nathan Bartling “My Mate Nate”
Round 1: Nate in purple and white, Nunes in red. Jabs by both men to open up. Nate with a particularly nice one. There’s a 1-2 as well. Nate has the range and is repeatedly peppering with jabs and 1-2s. Nunes gets in a couple shots to the gut.
Round 2: Nunes gets clipped on the end of a combo, but he’s still coming forward. Nate blocks a hook with his shoulder. 3-2 by Bartling. Nunes gets inside and pounds to the body. Nate is definitely wearing some strikes on his reddening torso. Nunes walking through some jabs to get in close, but Nate gets out of the corner before taking damage.
Round 3: Hooks by both men. They’re both in the pocket a bit more here and exchanging. Nate is really slowing down from all those body shots. Sweet uppercut by Nate. Nate still landing more, but he’s feeling it. Nice left by Nate stops Nunes in his tracks momentarily. Both men whiff on uppercuts. Nothing that Nate throws really seems to hurt Nunes too much, but he’s getting a bit bloodied regardless. Left by Nunes, right by Nate.
10-9 Nate, but very close here
Round 4: Both men are slowing, but still keeping it relatively technical. Nunes trying to get in close, Nate moving and hitting some clean punches. Nate lands at least a punch in every single combo he throws. Good right hand lands flush for Nunes. Nate jabs, clinches, breaks off of it and fires away. Nice liver shot by Nunes. Nate backs up Nunes at the bell as he swings away.
Final result: “My Mate Nate” Nathan Bartling via unanimous decision