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Video: Crazed fight promoter invents MMA basketball combining bare feet and shattered glass

Slam dunk? More like slam JUNK amirite?!? *Sees himself out*

How do you quickly and easily neutralize an opponent with bare feet?

As Mr. Hans Gruber once said: Shoot ... the glass!

That was a lesson each of the six players learned in a recent game of Batyr Ball, which translates to “Brave Ball,” featuring all the leftovers fighters who didn’t make the cut for Shipping Container MMA.

And you can’t get six combatants into a phone booth.

I’m not sure whose bright idea it was to spot-weld a backboard to the side of a battle cage, but I’m thinking Season 2 will switch to those aluminum surfaces you find on grade school playgrounds.

Maybe they can hire these three ding-dongs to clean up the broken glass.

I know we like to bag on all the crazy combat sports spectacles overseas (they make it so easy) but I’m sure there’s some stateside head scratching now that Nevada has approved the sport of slap fighting, where the primary objective is to obliterate a completely defenseless opponent in hopes they collapse in a swollen heap of silence and regret.

Sort of like me after Thanksgiving Steaksgiving dinner.

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