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Former UFC champ infiltrates ‘ghetto,’ steals (back) car in dead of night

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Gather ‘round the campfire boys and girls, because former UFC middleweight champion Luke Rockhold, who once “viciously kicked” a homeless zombie woman on the streets of Los Angeles, is back with another tall tale from the “City of Angels.”

Turns out Rockhold and his squad of surf bros ventured into the “ghetto” to steal back his friend’s car, which had gone missing in Tulum. And just like an episode of The A-Team, Johnny Law was either unwilling or unavailable when it came time to help.

Rockhold breaks it down for Submission Radio:

“We went to Tulum and my buddy’s car got stolen out front. Tracked it to downtown Los Angles in like the hood, and it’s very ghetto down there. The cops have been taken out of power and control, and they don’t do anything these days. And we were able to track it on the new app. It was like a brand new truck, and we tracked it to downtown and called the cops over and over again and they just kept delaying and putting us off. It’s a shame what the system is built into. Like, the cops delayed, delayed, they didn’t own up to meeting us at the time they were going to, and we were on the phone with them for a couple of hours. We were working on it. And they missed the point, and we decided to steal back the car.”

“I walked the neighborhood and surveyed it, the whole situation, and checked the car to make sure there was no one sleeping in the back of the car. It was already bashed in from the bumper. I was making sure there was enough room to get out, get away without someone, you know… it’s a ghetto down there. It’s ghetto as hell. We were not in a good space. It was late at night, very dark, very dead, and I was dressed appropriately… for a highway robbery. We did what we had to do, and we were properly prepared. I stood, you know, pulled up behind the car, stood guard, got ‘em in the car and we took off and robbed their car back. It was like in a little driveway out front. It was right off the street. Some dumb carjackers. We had a spare key in it, so we were just able to pull the damn thing.”

Like Franklin and Michael stealing the yacht back in GTA 5.

The 16-5 Rockhold, now 36, is still recovering from shoulder surgery and does not yet have a timeline for his Octagon return. The former Strikeforce middleweight champion has not been seen since Jan Blachowicz put him away at UFC 239 back in summer 2019.

A lot has changed between now and then at both middleweight and light heavyweight, so it will be interesting to see where Rockhold fits into either division once he makes his way back to UFC at some point in late 2021 or early 2022.