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Mike Perry plans on having girlfriend in his corner (and maybe her friend)

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Who needs coaches in your corner when you can have your significant other instead?

UFC 245: Neal v Perry Photo by Jeff Bottari/Zuffa LLC

Currently sitting at 6-6 in the UFC on a two fight skid, “Platinum” Mike Perry has gone from hot prospect in 2018 to entertaining undercard fixture in 2020. If only he’d take the time to refine some of his raw skills and talent, find a coach to really listen to and grow under. But of course that’s not what “Platinum” is up to right now, as per this recent interview with MMA Junkie.

“I’m not listening to any coaches right now,” Perry said. “Coaches who are saying things that they ain’t gonna go in there and do. They want it to be this way or this way, and it’s a totally different way. I need a guy like me to hold mitts. I wanna hold mitts for myself, to be honest. I could show people a couple techniques or whatever. I’m ready to fight for my life.”

As for who he’ll have in his corner when he eventually fights?

“My girlfriend,” Perry said. “Just her. If not her and her friend.”

Asked if either of these ladies had martial arts backgrounds or corner experience, Perry dodged the question.

“Listen, all I need the corner for is to pass me the bottle of water,” he said. “Wipe my head off or put the ice on my neck when I get hot coming in between the rounds. It’s probably not gonna go more than five minutes. And if it does, all I need is a bottle of water. I need a sip a drink, put some ice on my neck, and I don’t need no advice.”

“I feel like I never really gotten advice. I feel like people just sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher in the corner. Wahn wahn wahn wahn wahn. They don’t even know what the f**k to say because they wouldn’t go in there and do what the f**k they’re talking about. I don’t really know how the coaching s**t works. It doesn’t really matter. One corner is all you need.”

“The UFC wraps my hands, the state wraps my hands so I got a good handwrap, I got a good gameplan for myself. Ain’t nobody telling me otherwise. Ain’t nobody having me drill a bunch of s**t that I’m not gonna be dealing with. I’m gonna drill things and I’m going to see them how they’re going to go. Because I’m the one that’s gonna be experiencing it in there.”

“I’m the one who knows what happens in there. I’m the one who understands where they go, what they do, how they do it it, how they move, how I’m gonna move. It’s mind games, it’s tricks, and I’m better than them, I’m better than everyone. I know I am, I just gotta do it my way.”

Perry sounds ready to return as soon as the UFC calls him, giving June or July as perfectly acceptable dates. As for who he really wants to fight? He’s still calling out Darren Till, but we have our doubts the UFC is interested in pairing the two considering they’ve been throwing homophobic slurs at each other like 11 year old Fortnite players.

Who do you want to see Perry face off against next, Maniacs?