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Joe Rogan describes the pants-sh**ting effects of his ‘Carnivore Diet’

The UFC commentator has gone all meat for ‘World Carnivore Month,’ and his butt is not happy about it.

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We’re three weeks removed from the last UFC event, and while things are coming in hot with the return of Conor McGregor against Donald Cerrone at UFC 246 on January 18th, we figure it’s okay to take a little time to share some fun but less than salient fight-adjacent news from everyone’s favorite MMA commentator, Joe Rogan.

Rogan is an avid health nut who is always on the cutting edge of workout recovery and nutrition. Over the years he’s had a lot of guests on that have challenged the conventional thinking on what a healthy diet is, but I’d argue none have been more controversial than Jordan and Mikhaila Peterson, who have promoted the merits of the ‘Carnivore Diet’ - aka a 100% meat diet.

The Petersons both suffer from severe auto-immune diseases - Mikhaila’s juvenile rheumatoid arthritis was so bad she needed hip replacement surgery at 17. They claim that removing all non-meat from their diet lowered their bodies’ inflammation so much that it effectively cured them. Now various heath and nutrition mavericks are suggesting even people without serious diet intolerances could benefit from the carnivore diet, spawning #WorldCarnivoreMonth.

So of course Joe Rogan is down to give it a try. Thus far he hasn’t keeled over dead from a stroke, but he has found the diet to be pretty tough on his bowels. If you’re going to continue reading, be prepared: Joe goes into some pretty serious details about his poop.

”For the whole month of January I’m going on a strict carnivore diet,” Rogan wrote on Facebook. “January is #worldcarnivoremonth and I figured, f**k it, let’s see what happens. So as an experiment for the entire month of January I’m not eating anything but meat and eggs. I’m getting my bloodwork done on Monday and then again when I’m done with the diet but I’ve been on it now for about 5 days and I’m already looking leaner. My energy level has been excellent too. Kind of shockingly good. I’m making sure this isn’t a temporary placebo effect but at least for now I’m definitely experiencing some benefits.”

That was on January 3rd. On January 11th he updated us on his journey and the troubles he’d encountered.

”Carnivore diet update; the good and the bad. Let’s start with the bad,” he wrote. “There’s really only one ‘bad’ thing, and that thing is diarrhea.”

”I’m not sure diarrhea is an accurate word for it, like I don’t think a shark is technically a fish. It’s a different thing, and with regular diarrhea I would compare it to a fire you see coming a block or two away and you have the time to make an escape, whereas this carnivore diet is like out of nowhere the fire is coming through the cracks, your doorknob is red hot, and all hope is lost. I haven’t shit my pants yet, but I’ve come to accept that if I keep going with this diet it’s just a matter of time before we lose a battle, and I fill my undies like a rainforest mudslide overtaking a mountain road.”

”It’s that bad,” he continued. “It seems to be getting a little better every day, so there’s that to look forward to, but as of today I trust my butthole about as much as I trust a shifty neighbor with a heavy Russian accent that asks a lot of personal questions.”

But past the white-knuckle fight to keep from shitting oneself, Rogan says it’s pretty okay.

”The good: Now, I’m well aware of the placebo effect and I’m constantly self-analyzing every perceived reaction I’m having to eating only meat for almost 2 weeks straight,” he wrote. “But one thing I’m fairly sure of is that my energy levels are higher and steadier throughout the day. This seems undeniable. I don’t know if it’s a temporary effect and if maybe it’s just the result of eating really disciplined, but either way it seems to be real. I’ve also felt really ‘healthy’ (other than the sporadic bouts of hellacious projectile doodoo).”

”Again, I don’t now if this is real or imagined, but I actually seem to feel happier and more balanced. This is the only time in my life I’ve ever tried eliminating carbs for more than a day or so, and since I started the diet a couple days before January I’m now about 13 days in, at least 7 pounds lighter, and in completely uncharted territory for me. Which makes me think this is probably completely uncharted territory for 99% of the people on earth.

Anyway, I’ll keep you folks posted.”

We gotta hand it to Joe: trying this experimental diet is already a bold move. Trying it just as he’s about to travel to Las Vegas to perform his UFC duties for UFC 246 is ... I don’t even know what to call it. Let’s see how it plays out for him.

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