You’ll have to excuse my ignorance, but I have no idea what “airport cats” look like, or why they use people’s cars as their own personal litter box. I’m from New Jersey and I can assure you that any kitty hanging out by the Newark terminal will be killed and eaten by the homeless.
UFC color commentator Joe Rogan, however, was not as fortunate, and instead had to drive home in a truck covered in cat shit. Judging by the size of the fecal matter, I would assume the offending felines are not your ordinary house cat who lives on Meow Mix and tuna juice.
“I parked my truck for 11 days at LAX and cats decided to shit and piss ALL over the sunroof,” Rogan wrote on Instagram. “This is what was left after I drove 35 miles home. There was WAY more when I got into the car. Luckily it’s hot out so the shit was dry and hard, but fuck is it disgusting.”
“When I got in the car I was confused because it looked like someone poured a drink all over the windshield,” he continued. “We stopped at the exit and realized the entire top of the truck was covered with shit and piss. Be careful if you’re parking in terminal 4. These fucking cats ain’t playing.”
In unrelated news, Frank Shamrock has just applied for a job with airport security.