I don’t want to alarm anyone, but we’re only four days away from Rudolph the Red-Rosed Reindeer (CBS), five days from How the Grinch Stole Christmas (NBC), and seven days out from A Charlie Brown Christmas (ABC).
Mr. Claus, take us to DEFCON 3.
With Thanksgiving festivities slowly coming to a close, it’s time to focus on the second half of the holiday season. That means gifts, gifts, and more gifts, which is great news for Amazon and Walmart, as well as the usual suspects at the local mall.
Bad news for guys (and gals) like us, who don’t know what to buy.
It’s actually kind of funny how we can spend all year around our friends and loved ones, then get to the store when the meter’s running and draw a complete blank ... [picks up tchotchke] ... “I wonder if they would like this?”
To help ease some of your holiday anxiety, we’ve partnered with a handful of our long-time partners to bring you a holiday gift guide specifically curated for you, the discerning Maniac, so that you come up aces when it counts the most.
We’re making a list, you’re checking it twice.
Offers valid: Nov. 29, 2019 to Dec. 2, 2019 ET
- Get a free Whoop Strap 3.0 when you sign up
25% off a one-year WHOOP membership ($18 per month, $216 per year)
Existing members can extend their memberships at the above discounted annual rate via discounted annual gift cards.
25% off all WHOOP accessories*
*Exclusions: Leather and Lux Kits, limited-edition ProKnit Kits, and ProKnit Bicep Bands
Last month, WHOOP teamed up with UFC ringside announcer Joe Rogan and fellow comedians Bert Kreischer, Ari Shaffir and Tom Segura for their latest “Sober October” challenge. In the end, Bert had the “highest recovery,” Ari had the “most strain” and, unsurprisingly, Ari had the “most sleep.” Rogan trains like a rabid animal and has 50 irons in the fire, so his name missing from the recovery scoreboard is not a shock. But, it was not just a 31-day gimmick for the show — it’s a powerful tool that is reshaping how athletes (and anyone who works out for that matter) can get the most out of their training without wrecking their bodies:
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#soberoctober is over but I’m still using this @whoop strap. I managed to burn off 2200 calories before breakfast, but what’s most surprising to me is the sleep measurement and getting real-time feedback on how I’m recovering. For me this is SO much better than how I used to do it before, going on guesswork and how I “feel”. It’s always better to be acting on real information. And Epstein didn’t kill him self. And for those asking why it’s so many calories, I’m not just running for 30 minutes, I’m doing hill sprints, and the class is a hot yoga class where I get after it pretty hard. I don’t really know how accurate these things are for measuring calories burnt, but the point is this wasn’t an easy morning routine.
Studies demonstrate WHOOP can reduce injuries, increase sleep and improve performance with a continued and personalized understanding of recovery, strain and sleep. Indeed, it’s way more than just a “steps tracker” or “calorie counter” ... it’s around-the-clock insight into your daily performance.
For the charitable among us, the company just launched an Alzheimer’s awareness band, with all proceeds supporting Seth Rogan’s “Hilarity for Charity” Foundation. Naturally, these special bands are not on sale nor subject to promotion.
Offers valid: Nov. 29, 2019 to Dec. 5, 2019 ET
40% off sitewide from PigoutChips.com!
Enter promo code THANKSPIGGING at checkout
With the tagline, “Tasty as hell plant-based chips that taste just like bacon!” it’s hard to go wrong here. Healthy chips (high in the antioxidant vitamin E) that taste like bacon and have other mouth-watering flavors like Kansas City BBQ, Chipotle and Cheddar? Yeah, buy in bulk I say while the price is right.
PigOut chips have even impressed the palate of a hoity-toity Forbes’ potato chip tester:
Mmmmm ... bacon.
Offers valid: Nov. 27, 2019 to Nov. 29, 2019 ET
- Buy one 6-pack or 12-pack, get one free
Enter promo code ONEFORONE2019 at checkout (Offer valid until Dec. 2, 2019 ET)
- Spend $50 or more to get 40% off your entire order!
Enter promo code CYBER2019 at checkout
Neuro is a health and wellness company that creates approachable and effective gum and mints that you can take anywhere, anytime to refresh your state of mind and do more. Neuro products deliver just the right amount of what you need to energize, calm and better your mind quickly. All Neuro products are vegan, gluten-free, aspartame-free and sugar-free.
This should help explain the products a little better:
Offers valid: Nov. 29, 2019 to Dec. 2, 2019 CT
- 25% off sitewide discount!
It will auto-apply in the cart for customers (that’s you!) at checkout
Canvas creates the most bioavailable product on the market today. Its products are made with 100 percent ultra-potent, pharmaceutical-grade CBD and are never psychoactive. Entrepreneur Jason Luce (CEO) founded Canvas with a mission to bring the restorative power of hemp to people everywhere through superior products based on trusted science. Canvas Relief Oil is crafted with Colorado-grown full-spectrum hemp extract, grown under organic practices, to support your well-being in mind and body.
Fitplanapp.com (available on iPhone/Android)
Offers valid: Nov. 29, 2019 to Dec. 2, 2019 PT
- 50% off annual membership
Enter promo code FIT4FALL at checkout
Fitplan provides step-by-step personal training and workouts from more than 50 of the world’s most influential fitness personalities and athletes, including Alex Rodriguez, Ryan Lochte and Christian McCaffrey, among others. From beginners to fitness enthusiasts and aspiring athletes, Fitplan provides the blueprint for users to track progress, connect with a vast, supportive online community, and train alongside 50+ world-class athletes, coaches, trainers through exclusive videos and tutorials. Train at your own pace with on-the-go routines for the gym and at home.
If it works for the best running back in football, it (and McCaffrey himself) can probably help you get in swimsuit shape just in time for Memorial Day weekend ... if not sooner:
Personal workouts for beginners to experts that can be used at home or in the gym. In addition, Fitplan can provide meal plans that can cater to your specific health goals.
Offers valid: Nov. 28, 2019 to Dec. 24, 2019 PT
- Buy two get one free
Free gift and 90-day return available upon checkout
H7 Complex is a clinically tested and proven anti-aging product that remains the No. 1-rated anti-aging formula available without a prescription. Not only will H7 Complex help you decrease body fat while increasing muscle tone, users can expect improved bone strength/density, better sleep, smoother, tighter skin, enhanced brain function, and stronger sex drive. That doesn’t mean you have to be a geezer to use it, as H7 Complex is safe and beneficial for adults of any age.
No pills, no powders or potions. Just two sprays under the tongue a few times a day.
Offers valid: Nov. 28, 2019 to Nov. 30, 2019 ET
- Two for $20 tickets
General Admission Seating
Capitol Wrestling brings its internationally syndicated television show to New York City on December 28th as Homicide defends his title against Evolve’s Colby Corino! A company channeling ECW’s DIY spirit with focus on the sport’s best up-and-coming talent, Capitol is offering you a chance to experience the action at a special Black Friday price!
Happy holidays, Maniacs! If you have any questions about the products or services contained in this article just drop a note in the comments section below and we will do our best to get you swift non-answers.
Thanks for the cheese.