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Stooly: Conor McGregor too ‘coked up’ to promote UFC 229

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Quick! Someone check Dana White’s office!

Former Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) lightweight kingpin, Conor McGregor, has refused to do any promotion for his mixed martial arts (MMA) return, scheduled for the UFC 229 pay-per-view (PPV) main event on Sat., Oct. 6, 2018 inside T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Not because “Notorious” is too busy training and cutting weight for his Khabib Nurmagomedov title fight, but rather because any trip overseas would require McGregor to stop banging hookers and snorting cocaine.

That’s according to welterweight stool pigeon Colby Covington.

“He’s doing his little cocaine, and he’s partying a lot with his hookers,” Covington told BJPenn.com Radio. “He’s getting a little soft. He’s a little, he’s a coked-up little leprechaun who’s getting a little soft, so I completely understand why he doesn’t want to do promotion.”

Hopefully it’s not that white stuff from China.

Covington is no stranger to whistle blowing, having called the cops on Fabricio Werdum last November, before squealing on former roommate Jon Jones (because of this). That may explain the reason for his 24/7 security detail.

It should be noted that McGregor never failed a UFC drug test.

Covington is expected to throw hands with longtime rival Tyron Woodley after “The Chosen One” disposed of Darren Till earlier this month in Dallas. Perhaps a victory — as well as one for McGregor — can set up the Irishman’s oft-teased return to 170 pounds.

Let’s just hope he doesn’t ride the white horse to get there.