clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

UFC fighter announces ‘resignation’ to enlist in Donald Trump’s ‘Space Force’

News:Donald Trump in Melbourne Florida Today-USA TODAY Sports

United States President, Donald Trump, wants to expand on Ronald Regan’s Strategic Defense Initiative — affectionately titled “Star Wars” by the mainstream media — by creating a sixth branch of the armed forces (aka “Space Force”) that would give ‘Murica controlling military interest of outer space.

If it sounds insane ... well, it is, but I really loved Blizzard’s StarCraft so of course I’m all for it. And apparently I’m not alone, as some Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) fighters are looking to enlist as soon as possible.

Even if it means hanging up the gloves.

I hope boot camp looks like this.

I know there are some detractors out there who would rather spend the Space Force budget on silly stuff like underprivileged children, but we need to keep the class system intact so that we can feed said children to any of the aliens who manage to slip through our defensive cracks.

Aliens as in martians! Wait ... holy shit ... we may need to build a wall in outer space, too!

[waits for inevitable tax hike]