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Bisping: ‘I swear to God, Khabib would go the distance with Mayweather’

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Floyd Mayweather Workout Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Former UFC middleweight champion, Michael Bisping, is currently working as an MMA analyst for FOX Sports, which gives him a vehicle for his expert analysis, as well as his expert landings. And, like everyone else with an opinion and a platform [throws towel over mirror], the outspoken Brit sometimes connects imaginary dots to establish distant points.

In this case, it’s the fantasy (or perhaps nightmarish) scenario where reigning UFC lightweight champion, Khabib Nurmagomedov, follows in the footsteps of longtime rival, Conor McGregor, and boxes retired pugilist Floyd Mayweather Jr. for a zillion dollars and some mainstream rub.

But unlike “Notorious,” who was polished off in the tenth round of his brain-damaging “Money” fight, Nurmagomedov would actually go the distance, according to Bisping, who’s using the “Homer Simpson Syndrome” as his methodology of predicting fights.

“I swear to God, Khabib would go the distance with Mayweather,” Bisping said on his official podcast (transcribed by MMA Fighting). “He’d go the distance with Mayweather. I’m not saying Khabib is a better boxer than McGregor, he’s not a better striker, he’s not as elusive, he’s not as slick - but he’s got a fucking chin and he’s got cardio for days. And Mayweather, at his age, he was never a knockout guy even though he did have some knockouts. He knocked out England’s very own Ricky Hatton in devastating fashion, but I don’t see it.”

Bisping is using some bastardized version of MMA and Boxing math, henceforth known as “Bath” (because “Moxing” just sounds weird). To wit, Mayweather was unable to drop McGregor but Nurmagomedov was, and “Notorious” gasses in fights whereas “The Eagle” does not.

Therefore, Mayweather defeats Nurmagomedov by unanimous decision. Too bad it’s a fight that’s never going to happen — and yes, I know we said that with McGregor — because unlike the fiery Irishman, the Dagestani grappler has abysmal stand-up technique and is terrible at promoting fights.

Unfortunately, we’ll be talking about it anyway because that’s kinda what we do here on the Internet in the absence of anything real and meaningful. Speaking of stupid news, I just found out DAZN is pronounced DA-ZONE. Like, “in the zone,” but with a street-cred affectation.

That is all.