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Jimmie Rivera wants ‘head case’ Cody Garbrandt to remove his balls from Urijah Faber’s purse

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MMA: UFC 207-Garbrandt vs Cruz Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Having carried a man-purse for a few years, which is the bald man’s way of compensating for a lack of man-bun, I can tell you there isn’t a lot of room in there for non-essentials, so schlepping around an extra pair of balls is just ... well, not practical.

Hopefully Team Alpha Male head coach, Urijah Faber, feels the same way and eventually lets Cody Garbrandt have his sack back, because top bantamweight contender, Jimmie Rivera, wants to make the 135-pound division great again.

“Cody Garbrandt is such a head case,” Rivera wrote on Twitter. “After he’s finished rehabbing his ego from that last loss he should also grab his balls out of Urijah Faber’s purse and get this fucking division moving again.”

Previously undefeated, Garbrandt (11-2) was soundly defeated by TJ Dillashaw in back-to-back title fights, but remains ranked No. 1 in the bantamweight division, thanks largely in part to his decisive win over ex-champion Dominick Cruz back in late 2016.

Rivera (22-2), meanwhile, saw his ridiculous winning streak come to an end by way of violent knockout loss to Marlon Moraes last January. “El Terror” rebounded with a unanimous decision win over John Dodson and knows a victory over Garbrandt puts him right back in the title fight conversation.

Garbrandt has yet to respond.