Midnight Mania! Renzo Gracie bitch-slaps man for blowing airhorn in his ear, takes airhorn home for his grandson

Welcome to Midnight Mania!

It never ceases to amaze me that mixed martial arts (MMA) consistently comes through with genuinely wild stories. That’s mostly due to MMA having some genuinely crazy people. Renzo Gracie is one of the craziest.

In this interview, Renzo Gracie, one of the most accomplished Gracies before their style fell out of relevance in the sport, talks up the cult of Jiu Jitsu, before delving into a story with Matt Serra and the other host of The UFC Guy about the time someone blew an airhorn in his ear at 1 in the morning. That’s probably not a good idea, but to do that to Renzo was madness- especially because the guy was alone except for his girlfriend.

The Jiu Jitsu Times had the partial transcript:

“So I said to him, ‘My man, this is not polite,'” Gracie told Sera. “And he goes, ‘Yeah, and what are you going to do about it?’ I said, ‘I’m going to tell you what I’m going to do about it: you give me the horn, I’m going to play in your ear, and I’m taking this home. This is mine now, because you not responsible enough to walk around with this.” He said, “WHAT?” I said, yeah, or I’m going to beat the crap out of you and take the horn.’ Anyway, this is it! He look at me and he goes, ‘You won’t do nothing about it.’ So I b**ch slap him so hard, he was flat in the air. When he fell, his girlfriend threw a punch right at my face. I ducked, and I said, “what is this, honey?”

That wasn’t the end of it, though. Renzo was impressed with the girl and told her she was beautiful and best of all, angry, but she needed to get a better father for her kids. Then he took the airhorn home and his grandson plays with it every day in the garage.

On the bitch slap:

“That’s a good technique I learned from my father when I was seven, and until today it works. When it lands? it sounds like a 38 caliber shot.

The best was Luca looking at the whole thing, and he goes, “Renzo, why did you hit him with your left hand? You’re right-handed.” And I said to him, Luca, believe it. I thought on everything before I did it. On my left hand I had a $16,000 dollar watch that a shiek gave me as a gift. When I hit him, and I’m looking to see if my watch didn’t take off, you know? And, the reason why I did it with my left, was his girlfriend was standing right behind him. So if I had hit him with the right, his head would bounce back on her.”

The Gracies, who helped found the UFC as a showcase for the strength of their Brazilian Jiu Jitsu system of grappling, are a strange and violent bunch. If you have the time- I mean a lot of time- read this longform on the long, strange, and often disturbing history of the Gracie family, “A Hundred Years of Armbars”. It reads as though the Gracie family founded a cult, which is exactly what they did. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu often functions as a cult, the same way Crossfit, bodybuilding, or other spiritual communities work as cults. They are tribes often centered around a charismatic personality, preaching an alternative lifestyle that claims to offer fulfillment and happiness. In return, they demand fanatical devotion and complete buy-in to the system. Many of their beliefs are just as bizarre, arcane, and manipulative as any obscure religious sect. There isn’t necessarily anything wrong with this, but anyone who has been around a community like that knows it can consume someone’s entire life. In any case, if you train Jiu Jitsu, delving into the origin story of the family that started it all is revealing.

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Insomnia

I can’t wait to read this gripping memoir of the suffering of white blonde cheerleader Paige VanZant. I almost couldn’t get through the press release, which included this dramatic line:

The journey that brought Paige to the UFC is a stunning story of overcoming tragedy and finding the strength and skills to defend oneself in the face of evil.

I’m going to need to drive down to Galveston to witness this Jack Johnson statue

Cathal Pendred looks infinitely more entertaining in this trailer than he did in his tenacious but grinding UFC career. I’m always happy to see MMA athletes pursue successful careers after their time in the sport.

Rest in power, Jake LaMotta.

That is a lot of money.

Believable.

Okay that is exactly the kind of creepy shit Rory McDonald should be posting at his opponent ahead of Halloween. He and Douglas Lima will throw down in January for the Bellator welterweight title.

Rousey’s puppy is a winner

Combat Sports this weekend

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Quick Hits

• Andrew Richardson breaks down Gadelha-Andrade, by far this weekend’s best UFC fight on paper
• Rockhold says Bisping is going to run from him to the finish of his career.
• Did you see the Korean Zombie throwing some McGregor shade Jeremy Stephens’ way? Because I already wanted to see that fight and I still do, equally as much.

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Slips, Rips, and KO Clips

Congratulations to an old training partner, Jeremy Post, for winning an amateur title in upstate New York.

Gogoplata!!

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Podcasts and Video

Remember how great Japanese MMA used to be? Take a trip down memory lane

Andrew Richardson breaks down OSP’s triple threat, and it’s not singing, dancing, and acting

Heavy Hands

Fights Gone By with Jack Slack

Fight Society

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Random Land

This female jogger made a habit of pooping in someone’s driveway several times on her regular run. You can’t make this stuff up.

Stay woke, Maniacs! Follow me on Twitter and Facebook @Vorpality