Midnight Mania! Tom Brady gets stopped cold by Sumo wrestler

Welcome to Midnight Mania!

So, you may be wondering what this has to do with mixed martial arts (MMA). Well, it doesn’t, really, although Sumo and football are both disciplines that have seen competitors enter the sport of mixed martial arts (MMA). But, if you have read this column at all, you know how cool I think Sumo is. Besides, I’m tired of a certain pair of famous martial artists, whose last names begin with M and have three syllables apiece, who are very rich, and who also won’t be competing under mixed martial arts rules, dominating my headlines.

Via Champions.co contributor Justin Golightly, we get this incredible story of Tom Brady, famous athlete and American icon, as well as Dana White’s man crush, running up headlong against a sumo wrestler, and going exactly nowhere. In fact, it’s pretty embarrassing.

To be fair, Brady is a quarterback. I want to see a linebacker against a sumo wrestler. I’m really curious how that would play out.

The closest thing I could find was this, rugby vs. sumo

This strongman did beat this sumo wrestler, so maybe the linebacker would have a chance

Some smaller men can do very well in sumo, given impressive enough technique. At least, Takanoyama Shuntaro did.

Tom Brady didn’t, though. Better stick to throwing partially deflated footballs for millions of dollars.

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Insomnia

This is begging for a remix.

Dana White is trying so hard.

I hate the Internet so much.

This piece of history used for the Bellator 180 weigh-ins is admittedly pretty awesome.

Lucky Brits and Britons. Why do they get this PPV for thirty dollars less?

How romantic.

This is just sad, man. I almost feel bad for the guy. Daniel Cormier already took the one good towel trick.

Stoked to finally see Aaron Pico in action tomorrow night at Bellator 180. He’s been hyped for years now- let’s see if the hype is real.

Awwwwe...

I guess these headlines shouldn’t surprise me... but they are something else.

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Slips, Rips, and KO Clips

Another Northcutt goes down. This isn’t Colby’s finest moment, but at least she can side kick someone three times in the face without putting her foot down. I’ve seen her do it.

I’ve been thinking about this knockout a lot lately, with all the boxing/MMA crossover talk.

Classic big brother move

This dude looks like a killer

This fight is great

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Good Reads

• This interview with Chinzo Machida, the lesser-known Machida brother, is fascinating.
• The Mixed Martial Analyst, Dan Tom, wrote this great retrospective on BJ Penn’s career
• UFC Fight Night 112 previews, predictions and analysis

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Podcasts and Video

Jack Slack’s Fights Gone By

Weekend podcast brought to you by MMA Ratings

Kevin Lee’s backtaking technique by the other Andrews

Stay woke, Maniacs! Follow me on Twitter @Vorpality for the most annoying opinions around