Midnight Mania! Bryce Harper baseball brawl reminds us how hard fighting actually is

Welcome to Midnight Mania! I hope you had a great Memorial Day if you live in the United States. Frequently, honoring those who gave their lives is as simple as enjoying every moment we have, often thanks to their sacrifice. Tonight, we’ve got baseball warriors reminding us just how hard this fighting thing is, Stipe and little horses, Shevchenko being Texan, knockouts upon knockouts, sumo, and much more

---

Throw baseballs ... not hands

Because you can’t punch for shit! That’s the takeaway from this impromptu display of the sweet science (or lack thereof). I don’t watch baseball, but the guy hit by the pitch, I’m informed, is Bryce Harper, who goes after pitcher Hunter Strickland. It just gets worse from there.

Firstly, can we talk about that helmet toss? That’s a serious fail, especially after the guy beaned you with pinpoint accuracy from 60 feet. There is some debate about whether he is even trying to hit Strickland with it, it was that bad. (After viewing it a couple dozen times I think he is indeed aiming at the pitcher, and it slipped) I’m really awful at throwing things, but this is a professional baseball player and he misses by like ten feet from point-blank range.

Secondly, those punches. The slow motion helps nothing here. At first, I thought Strickland landed a couple good hooks, but the slow motion replay reveal his first “hook” is him palming Harper’s forehead, and the second one misses completely. In fact, the only punch that actually connects is this pathetic effort:

The takeaway here? Fighting is actually really hard and even elite athletes are not necessarily that good at it. Despite what former UFC commentator Mike Goldberg would have you believe, throwing punches is not the same as throwing fastballs.

Which makes Odor’s ability to throw a solid right hand on Bautista’s chin look downright amazing in retrospect.

---

Insomnia

What is better than one Lil Sebastian? Two of them!!

Valentina Shevchenko living that Texas life to the fullest.

So... the UFC Twitter account did not have a great weekend. THIS ISN’T A GUILLOTINE

That’s just wrong

Alexander Gustafsson is no fan of Jon Jones. No matter who wins the DC-Jones rematch, surely Gus is next.

Come on, Anthony.

Exactly what we were all thinking

I can’t wait for the Garbrandt knockout video. If you think Cody is intimidated by a little weightlifting muscle, you clearly don’t know his story.

Only one Teruto Ishihara

Light Heavyweight romance all around this weekend, as Gustafsson also proposed to his Viking Shield Maiden girlfriend. (and I mean that in the most complimentary possible way.)

Polite but cold

Remember this guy? Someone pointed out the pot-smoking guy in the background and it just got significantly better for me.

---

Slips, Rips, and non-Baseball Hits

This weekend had some good highlights, but we Maniacs were sorry to see Killer B go down

I honestly can’t even see what put him down, and I watched this ten times

Oh man

Oh yeah this was sick.

Woah

Kyoji almost got choked out

These are big dudes

---

Good Reads

• Jack Slack analyzes Gustafsson’s win over Glover, with GIFs
• Schwan Humes combines his two areas of expertise and breaks down Wonder Woman’s fighting style ahead of her big movie debut. Trust me, you want to read this.
• Really, Germaine De Randamie?? You would rather move back to women’s bantamweight than fight Cyborg? There goes that division, I guess, but I feel robbed. Then again, I didn’t bother to watch UFC 208, and in retrospect that was a great call.

---

Podcasts and Video

The Monday Morning Analyst

Jack Slack’s Fights Gone By

BJJ Scout

The Severe MMA podcast

The CME podcast

---

Random Land

The world’s best goalkeeper?

Stay woke, Maniacs!

Follow me on Twitter @Vorpality

Now is as good a time as any to let y’all know Midnight Mania will be on hiatus next week. I will be on a stay-cation, off the grid, pitching a tent in my backyard watching stars with my telescope. Naturally, that stargazing precludes any midnight writing, although I will be partaking in midnight snacks throughout. However, there will still be a shell in this space, an article for you Maniacs to find cool stuff from the day and leave in the comments.