Midnight Mania! Daniel Cormier flat out denies any chicanery in “Towelgate”

Welcome to Midnight Mania! Today was a day chock-full of the weird and wild in MMA. Daniel Cormier lost his belt on the scale, then magically lost 1.2 pounds in two minutes. Newcomer Pearl Gonzalez had her fight cancelled because of breast implants, then the New York State Athletic Commission (NYSAC) realized that wasn’t a rule, and her fight is back on. The Internet exploded in response to all this, and I was here to catalog a little of the fallout for y’all. Not only that, but I’ve got the usual complement of knockouts and submissions from regional MMA that you have come to expect from this column, and much more. Enjoy!

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Insomnia

You have to do this, of course, if you are Daniel Cormier. You can’t admit it to anyone, despite the fact that it happened right in front of the watching eyes of the world. No, you need to instead take a page from Donald Trump, or nemesis Jon Jones, (who threatens to confront DC in the cage) and lie as if you believe it yourself. If you are Daniel Cormier, you have to look the cameras straight in the eye and say, “no, I didn’t do that.”

Well, that’s exactly what Cormier did.

DC- “I didn’t want you guys to see my junk.”

Reporter- “No, man, you hold the towel.”

DC- “To not see my junk?”

Reporter- “No, man, you hold the towel.”

DC- “That’s your belief, not mine.”

Different reporter- “... because there were a lot of people who thought that the towel was...”

DC- “But what does doing that do? I don’t understand. It’s not something I’ve done before, you know, so I don’t... no. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t show my junk.”

Brilliant. Even if the Cheshire cat grin on his face gives it away, Cormier did what he needed to do.

Yes, it will be analyzed indeed.

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Bobs and Weaves

The internet, of course, is not merciful. An account called DCsTowel was created almost immediately to roast Cormier. How many would actually purchase one of these great t-shirts?

Beastin’ 25/8 knows what’s up.

So does Matt Brown.

Pearl Gonzalez and Cynthia Calvillo nearly ran into trouble today, as the NYSAC nearly followed through on a non-existent rule that banned breast implants to cancel the fight.

According to UFC president Dana White, though, you shouldn’t be listening to “websites and whoever” (He means us). This fight is on. Sure, Dana. We should just listen to you. The guy who said McGregor-Mayweather would not happen, said women would never fight in the UFC, denied the UFC was for sale even as negotiations were pending, denied that Anderson Silva would be fighting at UFC 200, and generally disregards the truth whenever it suits you as a promoter. You are the only trusted source for all our information.

Watch Conor McGregor hit mitts in the streets as he trains for Floyd Mayweather.

This is a wacky and wonderful sport we follow.

Cung Le has always trained and fought like he’s in an action movie. Which makes sense, given he has been in several.

I’m in the minority with this but this looks good to me.

Mark Coleman feels we have forgotten him. Go follow the Hammer on Twitter!

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Slips, Rips, and Knockouts

These dudes have terrible tattoos and apparently, great fights.

Speaking of KSW...

There are different levels of spinning shit.

This reminds me of that time Junior Dos Santos dropped Stipe Miocic in their first fight.

Almost as crazy as pro wrestling.

Watch Embedded: Episode 6 here!

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Random Land

What in blue blazes

Stay woke, Maniacs!