So a friend just texted me and asked what I was doing for work and I replied, “Writing about some dude’s cock” — and I quickly realized that all that shit my high school guidance counselor said about me (none of it good) was pretty spot on.
That’s okay, because he was an 80-something curmudgeon and this was way back in 1991, so I’m pretty sure he’s in a pine box somewhere in the muddy hills of North Jersey, so I win!
Anyway, Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) heavyweight Mark Hunt joins the long list of mixed martial arts (MMA) fighters to be immortalized in plastic. And since those Round 5 characters were unable to turn a profit (can’t imagine why those rubber Matt Hughes dolls didn’t fly off the shelves) this latest endeavor opted for realism over idealism.
But this prototype may be a little too realistic for Hunt’s tastes.
According to that official stamp in the right hand corner, he’s 100-percent virgin material.
You’re 43 Mark, pull the trigger already.
I think the detachable hands are what sold me. Since Hunt’s mug remains static, the only way to tell if he’s angry or calm is by the shape of his mitts. Though admittedly, I can’t help but think of that King Missile song regarding his little (but still “Super”) Samoan.
Opportunity lost.
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