I didn’t pay attention during high school geometry because I, like a lot of students, was like “fuck this shit,” figuring I would never in my life need to figure out the dimensions of an Octagon.
And don’t even get me started on the isosceles triangle.
That’s why former Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) matchmaker Joe Silva retired successfully (and wealthily) while I continue to post pictures of plastic penises to pay my electric bill.
Hey, it’s all about the hustle.
Unfortunately for heavyweight fighters like Matt Mitrione, Silva didn’t always use those powers for good. In fact, the “evil genius” once lied to “Meathead” about the size of the cage, to help Roy Nelson prevail in The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) 16 Finale back in late 2012.
“Anyone who’s ever listened to me fight or my interviews, knows how much I despise that small cage, and Joe Silva lied to me and told me it’s the big cage so I would take the fight,” Mitrione told The MMA Hour.
Straight-up diabolical, yo.
As you might expect, Silva maintains his
ignorance innocence in the matter.
“To say I lied says I did it with intention,” Silva rebutted (via MMA Fighting). “Even if I knew the dimensions, with everything we had going on, with so many shows and so many fights to make and so many guys falling out, if I was this evil genius, why would I go out of my way to stick it to Matt Mitrione of all things?”
Because that’s what evil geniuses do.
Silva, who got kicked in the gall bladder in the wake of Mitrione’s loss, points to a number of contributing factors, and suggests he may have been given incorrect information or that perhaps the wrong Octagon was shipped to the arena.
Either way, Mitrione will have a chance to avenge that loss when he faces Roy Nelson in the upcoming Bellator MMA Heavyweight Grand Prix Tournament in 2018. I guess now would be a good time for matchmaker Rich Chou to dust off his abacus.