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Emotional Ronda Rousey on Ellen: 'I was literally thinking about killing myself,' believes she is 'still undefeated'

How did Ronda Rousey feel after getting knocked out by Holly Holm?

Probably much worse than any of us expected. In fact, "Rowdy" told Ellen DeGeneres she was contemplating suicide after "The Preacher's Daughter" ended her unbeaten streak -- and reign atop the 135-pound division -- with a second-round headkick at UFC 193 last November.

Her words:

"I got clipped in the first exchange, so I was knocked out on my feet the first time I got hit. It’s hard to really know what’s going on … it was weird. I had no perception, I felt like I couldn’t see. I couldn’t tell how far my hand was from my face or how far she was from me…. I really don’t remember most of it…. I was trying to hide the fact that I wasn’t really there anymore. To be honest, I was down in the medical room in the corner and I was like, ‘What am I anymore if I’m not this?’ I was literally sitting there, thinking about killing myself. In the exact second, I was like, ‘I’m nothing, what am I going to do anymore? No one gives a shit about me without this.’ To be honest, I looked up and saw my man, Travis, and thought, ‘I need to have his babies, I need to stay alive [laughs].’ I haven’t told anyone that except him. That’s what I was thinking, I was meant to have him when I was at my lowest. I don’t know if I would have made it without him. I really do believe I’m still undefeated because being defeated is a choice. Everyone has losses in their life, but I choose to always be undefeated."

Scary.

Especially when you consider that Rousey lost her father by way of suicide, something she openly discussed in the build up to her Octagon debut against Liz Carmouche in early 2013 (details). The good news is, the Olympian appears to be back on solid footing and judging by these pics, better than ever.

With a little help from this guy.

Might be time to rethink some of those pre-fight "hype" comments (like these).

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