Former Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Light Heavyweight champion, Jon Jones -- who has been stripped of his 205-pound world title twice for drug- and behavior-related incidents -- has reached Status: "Beast Mode" once again after dropping the weights over the summer for the sake of "endurance."
And he is doing it all without the assistance of "dick pills," which heretofore were not considered performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs) in the gym, but rather a bedroom prop that puts an extra "twist" on over-sized penises.
This is real life, I swear. One in which we provide frequent updates on what it takes to fuel the sexual appetite (and member) of the greatest mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter of all time who is unable to consistently compete inside the Octagon (just three times in as many years) because he can't control himself outside of it. But, at least Jones is having some fun with "not being a cheater" even if his social media captions are misplaced.
Jones' latest suspension will end on July 6, 2017, which is one year from the initial positive test that forced him out of a rematch with Daniel Cormier at UFC 200. That's more than enough time for "Bones" to make another dramatic physical transformation, which is seemingly a better alternative than many of his other unhealthy life choices.
Just don't expect company President Dana White to reward Jones -- who will grapple Dan Henderson at "Submission Underground 2" in an exhibition match planned for eight minutes this weekend (full details) -- for good, Cialis-free behavior upon his eventual UFC return.