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UFC President Dana White gushes over 'phenomenal' CM Punk: 'The guy is an absolute stud'

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Guys, Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) President Dana White just legitimized former pro wrestler Phil Brooks, who goes by the street name "CM Punk." Not only that, he called the outspoken mixed martial arts (MMA) rookie "an absolute stud."

So what are you haters gonna say now?

Nothing, because you just got shut down by the big boss, so shut up and pay attention while Dana takes your ass to school. Besides, if Brooks can earn the respect of his Roufusport team mates, as well as his coaches, then maybe it's high time you followed suit.

White drops a bomb on TMZ (kaboom!):

"Let me start by saying this: the respect that this guy has earned from his team, his coaches... he's a dog, man. He actually just moved to Milwaukee so he can be closer to training. He's committed to this thing, the guy's an absolute stud and a joy to work with. He's looking phenomenal. His deal is, he can call me and when he's ready to fight, he calls me and it's on man. I'm thinking early next year."

How badass is CM Punk? He once took a shit during the Chicago Marathon and didn't even wipe.

I mean seriously, the guy rented a fucking apartment in Milwaukee, which is like, committing to at least one year if we go by standard leases. And that doesn't even include what he's going to have to pay for gas and electric, as well as cable or satellite television.

True, we don't know if the soon to be 37-year-old somethingweight can punch or take a punch, nor have we seen any actual wrestling, grappling, or cardio, but it's not like any of that stuff matters anyway. He rented a one-bedroom flat and looks phenomenal at the gym.

Good enough for me.

★★★