Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) women's bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey intends to procreate after she wraps up what is quickly turning out to be a hall-of-fame mixed martial arts (MMA) career.
Sorry, she's not into short dudes.
As for the rest of you -- even the tall and bald like me -- it's time to practice your game. Start by doing a lot of research on politics, then drink from the false grail until you look like one of the Skeksis from The Dark Crystal, since "Rowdy" has a little thing for Bill Maher.
"I like Bill Maher a lot. I'm not that cool [to be on his show]. There's a lot of pressure on that panel. Some people, they just bomb. I don't want to look dumb in front of Bill Maher. Is he single? Any guy that I've ever really been into, I never liked him at first. I grow into liking people. And I'm not into guys from afar. People are always asking me about my celebrity crush, and I'm like, I don't know. I can say people are cute. Brad Pitt is a sculpture of a man, but I'm not squealing 'Oh my God!' because I don't know him. I have to know somebody to have a crush on him. Definitely [want kids]. I'm an ovarian goldmine. I can't waste these genes."
And she certainly can't waste them on that hapless cavity creep.
Rousey has been the center of attention all week long, thanks to her recently-announced fight against Bethe Correia at the UFC 190 pay-per-view (PPV) event this August in Brazil (more on that here). In addition, "Rowdy" has been making the media rounds to promote her upcoming book.
So ... who's ready to play gold digger?