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Live UFC drug testing media press conference updates with Dana White, Lorenzo Fertitta

Jayne Kamin-Oncea-USA TODAY Sports

Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) is going to take a stand against performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs) -- yet again -- after failing to get through its last three pay-per-view (PPV) events without a positive drug test (more on that mess here).

That means a special media press conference today (Weds., Feb. 18, 2015) at 1 p.m. ET from inside the Red Rock Casino Resort Spa in Las Vegas, Nevada, home base for the world's largest mixed martial arts (MMA) promotion.

To watch the live streaming video of today's proceedings CLICK HERE.

For those of you unable to watch the video feed or who just want the quick hits, we'll be live blogging today's presser right here (see below), just as soon as UFC President Dana White, along with UFC CEO Lorenzo Fertitta, take the stage in "Sin City."

Let's get to it.

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12:30 p.m. ET: Media press conference scheduled to being shortly.

1 p.m. ET: Getting the rotating hourglass of doom on the video player, stand by

1:05 p.m. ET: Fertitta: The failed drug tests are disappointing, but they are catching athletes who are cheating. It forces them to evaluate drug policy.

***FYI:

1:08 p.m. ET: Fertitta: They're making a run to face PED issues head on w/commissions. They recognize the need for another plan to better handle this. Working with the Cleveland Clinic to better assess how PEDs can affect fighters.

1:10 p.m. ET: Dana White yelling at media for screwing up Jon Jones reports. Says people confuse in-competition with out-of-competition.

1:12 p.m. ET: White hands out Anderson Silva's test results, insists UFC and NSAC would never withhold results to sell a pay-per-view (PPV). Raises his voice again.

1:15 p.m. ET: White explains timeline for Hector Lombard drug test. Yells at imaginary critics.

1:16 p.m. ET: White announces Rory MacDonald vs. Robbie Lawler for welterweight title at UFC 189 on July 11.

1:18 p.m. ET: Fertitta back on the dais with a fancy chart that makes UFC look aggressive in its drug testing efforts. People love little graphs and "x.x percent found" type of "facts." More please!

1:20 p.m. ET: Fertitta will pay to test every fighter for every event, approximately 984 tests annually. Will also subject all main event and championship bouts to enhanced testing (roughly 96 combatants). Says it will take time to implement due to relationships with "third-party agencies" but expects to have it wrapped up by July 1, 2015.

1:22 p.m. ET: Fertitta insists UFC will push for harsher penalties and longer suspensions for drug test failures.

1:24 p.m. ET: Presser open for questions. This should be good.

1:25 p.m. ET: Fertitta says issues are "complex" and UFC does not have "all the answers." Lawrence Epstein -- the UFC legal something-or-other -- is seated next to him and says something about "due process." Somewhere in San Jose, Calif., Cung Le is laughing hysterically.

1:27 p.m. ET: Hilarious footage of Jon Jones dancing airs while Fertitta talks about failed drug tests.

1:30 p.m. ET: Something about a "proverbial leap of faith" on working with commissions. Yikes.

1:31 p.m. ET: Fertitta not convinced current punishments do enough to deter PED use. Duh. Says four-year ban not out of the question. Dana "agrees" because he's sitting next to his boss and that's the kind of thing your boss expects you to say. Says "risk vs. reward" in a real official-sounding voice.

1:33 p.m. ET: UFC drug testing will be in conjunction with commission testing and not a means to replace it.

1:35 p.m. ET: No comment on Anderson Silva until he is afforded due process (more on that here).

1:37 p.m. ET: Fertitta says it will likely get worse before it gets better. Optimism FTW! Dana chimes in and promises to catch cheaters, says UFC going to spend millions of dollars.

1:39 p.m. ET: Ron Kruck throws Joe Rogan under the bus for "epidemic" comment, Dana calls his UFC color commentator an exaggerator. Admits Silva steroid test "shocked him."

1:40 p.m. ET: The "worse before it gets better" comment resurfaces, causing me to worry about UFC 184 since Ronda Rousey and Cat Zingano were recently drug tested.

1:42 p.m. ET: Long-winded question about UFC consulting other sports leagues like MLB, followed by long-winded answer from Lawrence Epstein. Dana pipes up and buries baseball. "Two guys hitting a ball with a stick, who cares?"

1:45 p.m. ET: Heidi Fang interrogating Dana White over Cung Le fiasco and he shouts her down.

1:47 p.m. ET: Dana calls out "other MMA organizations" (cough, Bellator) to step up to the drug testing plate, then drug-shames boxing.

1:50 p.m. ET: Fertitta wants to put health and safety of fighters first.

1:52 p.m. ET: Epstein says UFC will follow NSAC guidelines when self-regulating

1:55 p.m. ET: Leading "journalist" congratulates UFC for presser, then calls it "seminal day for the sport of MMA." Plays himself out using UFC-branded kazoo.

1:58 p.m. ET: Dana says fighters not using "this garbage" will help prolong careers, doesn't expect it to affect performances on fight night.

2 p.m. ET: FOX Sports 1 pulls the plug on live feed, goes back to soccer, another thing Dana hates. Since UFC can't seem to handle a simple video feed, the live updates will now come to a close. Thanks for tuning in!

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