Retired Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) lightweight veteran Yves Edwards, after nearly 70 mixed martial arts (MMA) bouts dating back to 1997, knows when he's losing a fight.
This one was against his wife, in which he eventually tapped out and agreed to see 50 Shades of Grey.
That's the erotic romance novel that was turned into a cash grab movie and apparently has all the gals in a tizzy. Edwards took the plunge and posted a rather humorous review of the film (read it here), while also providing a quick exit strategy for miserable men (and women) stuck inside the local cineplex.
We get to the lobby and it's 10:10pm I grab a server, and asked for some help. This is the conversation I had with him almost verbatim.
Me: "Excuse me, can you please help us get our check?"
Server: "What theater were you in?"
Me: "‘50 Shades of Grey' in theater 10."
Server: He smiled and said "That movie is pretty bad huh?"
Me: Thinking about how bad that movie was made me remember why I was laughing so hard in the theater. "Horrible is a better word. I didn't want to go to jail for yelling ‘Fire' in a crowded theater, but I was sitting in the back and I literally thought ‘If I take a shit in the corner, we would all have to leave.'"Moral of the story: 1. Don't see "50 Shades of Grey" unless you want to seriously consider taking a shit in a crowded theater.
Don't forget your Dude Wipes.