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Donald Cerrone: I drove to Las Vegas and 'failed' my UFC on FOX 17 drug test

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Esther Lin

Donald Cerrone is a busy guy.

And I don't blame him, either, because if I owned an RV that was stocked with candy bars, I too would travel the country and do all sorts of fun things, like wave runningscuba diving, and falling 40 feet from a rock wall without dying.

There's just one teeny, tiny problem with that lifestyle.

It doesn't quite work for big brother United States Anti-Doping Agency (USADA), who is required to know your whereabouts at all times. You know, in case they show up at your front door and ask you for a glass of warm lemonade.

"Cowboy" talks to Tait Fletcher (via Bloody Elbow):

"In the new testing, you have to tell them your whereabouts. Fuck, I don't know where I'm going to be. They show up to my house and are like ‘where are you this weekend?' It was on the weekend that I went to Vegas on a whim. They were like ‘where are you?' and I was like ‘I'm in Vegas'. And they were like ‘we're at your house'. And I was like ‘well that sucks.' So I failed. I failed my drug test."

Three whereabouts failures within one year is considered an Anti-Doping Rule Violation.

For now, Cerrone is still scheduled to face Rafael dos Anjos in the main event of UFC on FOX 17, which takes place on Sat., Dec. 19, 2015 inside Amway Center in Orlando, Florida (more on that here). Let's hope the next time he decides to skip town, he makes all the necessary phone calls.

It's what Wandy would have wanted.