Note: To those who care: Part 6 can be found here:
Mea culpa: This one will be updated with [more] vitriol.
I was so taken aback and disgusted by the absurdity of Schaub and the ennui of UFC 161 (Why 2013? Why!!), I ended up overlooking some very noteworthy Folklore and Tidbits, namely:
- Mark Hunt giving the usual number of fucks (How many?) and brushing off his painful and life-threatening UFC 160 battle wounds like they were mere mosquito bites (I dare you to click on these 2 links. Go on! I double dare you).
- Brandon Schaub and Matt Mitrione engaging in a meeting of the minds on Twitter (Surprise! The minds are a no-show).
- Roy Nelson channeling his inner Harriet Beecher Stowe.
- A Noob challenging Anderson Silva.
Anderson Silva and George St-Pierre are the reason I started watching MMA religiously.
As I've said before, they are my 2 favorite fighters (JDS being the 3rd) in that order... and as you found out in March Madness, I'm a Montrealer that only watches fight sports.
Therefore, the magnitude of the psychological beating I've received in July 2013 cannot be expressed in the number of words acceptable for a thesis, let alone a Fanpost.
It was impossible for me to be succinct, so this one's been dismembered.
You'll be getting the limbs one at a time.
Essential to understanding the level of violence dealt upon me by the Greatest MMA Year of All Time. (Period. End of fucking story), a little prologue on my history with the sport is required.
Circa fall 1997.
One of my buddies had managed to get his hands on bootleg VHS tapes of UFC 1 thru 6 and invited a bunch of us over at his place to watch them.
We were all boxing fans, it was a great excuse to get together, so we gave it a shot.
Some didn't like the brutality of it (i.e.: TKO by head stomp) and opted for some WCW vs nWo on the N64 instead.
Others liked what they saw, no one was left indifferent.
I was hooked from the moment Kathy Long's incessant jabber was cut short when Teila Tuli's tooth flew right past Jim Brown.
Unfortunately, I never got to watch a full event again until November 18th 2006.
Truth be told, I didn't actively seek to do so, since boxing was in what I consider its golden age (for a Gen-Xer anyway) and kept me entertained with:
- Now-beloved, teddy bear Mike Tyson's downward spiral (I'm on the Zoloft to keep me from killing y'all!)
- Roy Jones Jr, Lennox Lewis, Shane Mosley, Oscar De La Hoya, and so many more talented and exciting fighters in their absolute prime.
- Barrera, Morales, Ward, Gatti fighting with absolutely 0 fucks for their well-being.
- Decent hometown talent (Gatti, Lucas, Ouellet, Alcine, etc.)
Fast forward to 2006.
Boxing is starting to lose me.
Some of the greats I've mentioned have suffered unexpected and sudden declines, others have retired and great fights more often than not never materialize due to greed, archaic red tape and simply too many belts to care.
That same buddy who introduced the UFC to the gang a decade ago is at my place and telling me that: "There's this kid from Montreal who's going to fight for the UFC belt next Saturday and that we have to order the event".
My reaction was: "Wait, what? That still exists?"
He goes: "Yeah, dude and it's pretty sweet. Here, let me show you this Brazilian guy, you'll see what I mean..."
This was back in the day before the great (and effective) Zuffa crusade against piracy.
All you had to do was Google the fight you wanted to see and click I'm Feeling Lucky to see it.
He sat at my computer and I watched him type "Anderson Silva vs Chris Leben."
That one caught my attention.
"Dude... check out his next fight... This is how he won the belt from the champ who was 22-1 at the time."
27 knees from the Muay Thai clinch (I remember giggling like a schoolgirl and asking my buddy: "What the fuck's he doing to him?!") and 2 head kicks later I was hooked.
I wanted to see more.
Being the proud Montrealer that he is, he then googled GSP vs Jay Hieron and GSP versus Matt Hughes 1 to make the sale on why we not only needed to gather the troops next Saturday, it was our patriotic duty to do so.
"Sold, Motherfuckaaaaaa!" was my answer.
At my request, we spent the rest of that day drinking, Rosenthaling and Googling UFC and Pride fights.
One week later I hosted UFC 65 at my place. I got to hear the words: "...and new! (via head kick & punches)" and have never stopped following the sport since.
I'm happy to have had the chance to witness my two favorite fighters go on an absolute streak of destruction (aside from the Matt Serra and Demian Maia debacles).
My then girlfriend, now wife has moved in with me and witnessed firsthand how truly obsessed I am with this shit.
Anderson Silva won her over when we watched Like Water together.
She used to only pay attention to a UFC fight if GSP, Anderson, JDS or anyone in the Teeny-Tiny (Flyweight) division is fighting (More on that as the monthly beatings continue like clockwork. Thank you, 2013).
It's my last day of work before a long overdue 2 week vacation.
My wife and I were both looking forward to having friends over to watch Anderson destroy Chaz Weisman and extend his UFC records to 17 wins and 11 title defenses.
2013, had other plans.
That's it for July for now. Thank you for reading. Coming up next (God I hate you Goldberg): Why 2013 Kicked this MMA Fan's @ss Part 7B: July: He took it for granted... Act II - The Buildup.