Breaking: Urijah Faber swears vengeance after third-grader has feelings hurt by Dominick Cruz

C'mon guys, this has gone far enough.

What started as a friendly rivalry between Team Alpha Male and Dominick Cruz has turned into a nightmare for one little third-grader, whose name has been withheld to protect his identity. It turns out that crack from "The Dominator" about "Team Alpha Fail" (see it here) has crossed the one line you never cross.

Faber explains (via MMA Fighting):

"We've got a third-grader who trains with us, and he came up to me one day and he was like ‘did you hear what Dominick Cruz said?' I told him we were going to put Cruz in timeout for hurting his feelings. My third-grader was upset over it. I mean, we weren't really sitting around thinking about Cruz these past three years. We've been out winning fights and winning titles and starting businesses. I guess he was just sitting around with his surgeon thinking about us and thinking about what he'd say when he came back. And then all he could come up with was a third-grade insult."

Won't someone think about the children?

FOX officials could not be reached for comment, but I would be shocked if Cruz still had a job on Monday morning. While he's a valuable addition to the existing panel of mixed martial arts (MMA) analysts, this is not the kind of stigma the network needs in these sensitive times.

And it's shit like this that keeps UFC and MMA out of New York.