Bendo versus El Nino: The quick and dirty


Before I begin, let me just say that only a bear of very little brain would choose to heed my advice. I'm shooting a percent of accuracy right now that is less than a stormtrooper trying to hit Luke Skywalker at point blank range. In other words, absolute shit. I couldn't get a job as a fucking weatherman in Southern California right now.

Having said that, let's begin:

Clifford Starks (8-1) versus Yoel Romero (4-1)

I was going to pick Cliff Claven in this one under the assumption he'd hump his way to freedom, until I saw that Romero is not only a wrestler, he's an Olympics wrestler. If anyone's getting wrestlefucked, it's Cliffie. More impressive than that, Romero knocks fools out. Losing to Feijao is no big shame.

Romero via TKO3

* * *

Anthony Njokuani (15-7) versus Roger Bowling (11-3)

I'm not even going to look at Roger's record, Tony is a lose one, win one kind of guy. So, it's inevitable he wins one. Plus Bowling lost to Tarec Saffiedine, a fighter with a similar style to Tony. Beating up a neo-Nazi and an overweight welterweight in Strikeforce doesn't impress me much.

Njokuani via TKO2

* * *

TJ Dillashaw (7-1) versus Hugo Viana (7-0)

I don't even give a fuck that Dillashaw is going to take Viana down and sub him. Not one single fuck was given. I carry a torch for each overly sensitive TUF Brazil contestent. I don't know if it was all that crying on the show, but I feel a bond with them. Plus, Viana is a bad ass motherfucker with killer sideburns. Dillashaw is fucked.

Viana via decision

* * *

Tim Means (18-3-1) versus Jorge Masvidal (23-7)

With all due respect to Tim Dirty Cock Means, Whore-hey Masvidal has faced stiffer competition and done pretty well. Paul Daley and Gilbert Melendez couldn't knock him out, and he put it to KJ Noons and Billy Evangelista. Even if Means gets him down, Masvidal will outstrike him and win at least two of the three rounds.

Masvidal via decision

* * *

Joseph Benavidez (17-3) versus Darren Uyenoyama (8-3)

It's no secret I don't like JB. Well, maybe it is, but now I'm out of the closet for good. JB has a head too big for his fucking body, he's boring as fuck, and can only finish guys born in Japan or Brazil. Unfortunately, he's also hard to outpoint, which means he's going to bore the fuck out of Darren for 15 minutes.

Benavidez via decision

* * *

Ramsey Nijem (7-2) versus Myles Jury (11-0)

Ramsey is a hugger. He can't help himself, he just needs to put his purty paws over everybody. Unfortunately for him he's meeting another guy who loves to hug, in Myles Jury. If you'll remember, Jury played the part of Transportation Security Administration guard against Michael Johnson, who played the part of hapless traveller getting a cavity search.

Jury via decision

* * *

Francis Carmont (20-7) versus Lorenz Larkin (13-0)

A lot of people are apparently sleeping on Carmont. Sure, he looked bad against Magnus Cedenblad in the first round of his fight before finishing in the second round. He also did nothing against Karlos Vemola until the Czech fighter faded. And he scraped by Tom Lawlor in a fight he probably lost. But Larkin aint exactly Peggy Fleming. He's actually 13-1, he got knocked the fuck out by King Mo. He bored the shit out of Robbie Lawler, an upjumped welterweight. And the man is cutting down from Light Heavyweight, where he was already fat as fuck. With the pace Carmont will set, he'll be feeling like the summit of Mount Everest after five minutes.

Carmont via SUB2

* * *

Chad Mendes (13-1) versus Darren Elkins (16-2)

Elkins doesn't have the standup to knock Mendes out, and he doesn't have the elite wrestling to take him down. After five wins in a row following a drop from 155, Elkins is probably going to get grinded out into the loss column. Mendes has been knocking fools out lately, but keep in mind they were fools.

Mendes via decision

* * *

Matt Brown (16-11) versus Jordan Mein (27-8)

It's cute that Matt Brown has been on a career resurgence. Cute, but he's fucked. Nobody has been able to stand with Jordan Mein for years now, and if Brown does he's getting finished quickly. Mein's only loss in relevant memory was to Tyron Woodley, who held him down for three rounds. Brown is tough as fuck, so expect him to give up his back and lose the choke.

Mein via SUB2

* * *

Nate Diaz (16-8) versus Josh Thomson (19-5)

It's no secret I love Nate Diaz. He's in my profile avatar for fuck sake. But I just don't know about this fight. Diaz is an incredibly tough target, but the right kind of matchup can be a nightmare for his style. Styles make fights, and Thomson is the kind of style that makes Diaz's style useless. He's faster than Nate, he has lightning takedowns, and his wrestling is elite. He won't get finished on the ground by Diaz and anyone who watched his trilogy with Melendez knows he's impossible to finish.

Thomson via decision

* * *

Frank Mir (16-6) versus Daniel Cormier (11-0)

I can see this fight as being tentative and conservative, as Cormier looks to pick apart Mir on the feet, until Frank gets that glazed, defeated look in his eyes. After that, it's just a matter of time.

Cormier via TKO2

* * *

Gilbert Melendez (21-2) versus Benson Henderson (18-2)

Anyone who thinks Bendo is going to run through Melendez 50-45 is fucking crazy. Gil is the kind of fighter who matches the intensity of the opponent, playing up to the talents of a fighter, or sometimes down when need be. He doesn't finish every guy, but he is the sort of in-your-face fighter that never goes away. Nobody has ever really solved Melendez except for Thomson, and even then the fights were razor close. Bendo is impossible to finish, but dealing with the striking of Melendez is going to be no picnic.

Henderson via split decision

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