Philippines' Manny Pacquiao promoted to Lieutenant Colonel

Ten-shun!

FoxSports.com reports that number-one, pound-for-pound professional boxing champion, Manny Pacquiao -- who enlisted in the reserve forces of his home country’s army as a sergeant back in 2006 -- has been promoted to lieutenant colonel.

As tantalizing as images of Pacquiao punching his way through a heated battlefield are, the Filipino bruiser will restrict the biffing to the squared circle, aiding the military through non-combat means such as recruitment.

Despite what it looks like, Pacquiao was not, in fact, promoted for (barely) defending his country’s honor against Mexico's Juan Manuel Marquez last month. On the contrary, a spokesman for the Filipino army reports that the rank is reflective of Pacquiao’s status as a congressman.

While it would certainly be amusing if Pacquiao managed to court-martial Floyd Mayweather into a fight, don’t expect him to be storming beaches anytime soon. Pacquiao’s next fight is currently unknown, with rumors of negotiations with the aforementioned Mayweather and eternal rival Marquez swirling about.

At ease.