Episode three of The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) Season 9 gets underway at the TUF house and in true "Colors" fashion, all it takes is some opposing graffiti to get the American tempers flaring.
Team USA and Team UK start things off rather amicably with some hand shaking and sporadic chest bumping -- but anyone who's watched a single episode throughout the nine seasons knows that's probably the last we'll see of any inter-team camaraderie.
Rob Browning honors the family name by actively seeking an alcoholic to keep pace with his binge drinking. Outside, the Brits display some of the worst basketball skills since C. Thomas Howell in "Soul Man."
Browning starts egging the UK guys from the balcony and then blames it on the beer. Personally, I blame the producers. Didn't we suffer enough of this crap last season?
Back in the house, Browning urinates in the Team USA shower. Just when you thought it wasn't possible to be worse than Junie, I present to you Rob Browning.
The rest of the house assembles and lays down some ground rules for the next six weeks. Pranks are okay, but no messing with other peoples food and keep all bodily fluids where they belong -- inside the body.
Team USA has their first training session and Coach Henderson runs them through the gameplan for opposing Team UK.
Hendo thinks the skill level in British MMA is a few years behind and their wrestling is virtually non-existent. Therefore he emphasizes wrestling, the clinch and ground and pound. DaMarques Johnson rallies the troops following the workout.
Coach Bisping arrives and already starts with the mind games, toying with some of the positive attitudes from Team USA.
DaMarques thinks the only thing the UK is good at is soccer and tells "The Count" to shove his British pride up his ass. Unfortunately he only tells him via confessional cam so it never really goes anywhere.
Team UK trains and they come out of the gate guns blazing. Bisping promises "intense" training.
Later that night, Browning tries to endear himself to the British guys by dropping an Australian catchphrase. Real smooth, jackass. James Wilks names him "15 minutes" after the fifteen minutes of fame he so desperately seeks.
Fight day is here and the Yanks start to pump themselves up for the final two elimination fights for Team USA. Lester is an ex-soldier ready to go back to war -- this time inside the Octagon.
His opponent, Kiel Reid, says it's easier to punch a head than a time clock. I immediately relate. I've had some jobs where it was necessary to do both.
Team USA final elimination bout #1: Frank Lester (3-2) vs. Kiel Reid (8-1)
Round 1: Gratuitous "heart-on" double entendre voiceover courtesy of a "Crank" commercial. Yawn. Reid bumrushes Lester and they hit the ground. Lester pushed to the fence and defends with a guillotine but can't secure it. Reid muscles him to his back and works for position. Lester preventing him from posturing and stands up -- right into a guillotine. He escapes and cracks Reid with a few punches. Reid shoots and pushes him to the fence. Reid picks Lester up and slams him to the ground, knocking himself out in the process. Neither Lester nor referee Steve Mazzagatti realize he's done and Lester cranks a DEEP kimura until Mazz catches on and quickly stops it.
Frank Lester defeats Kiel Reid via KO (slam)
Reid and Lester have some words following the fight.
Reid: You can't beat me!
Lester: I just did!
Reid: I beat myself!
Reid bashes Lester all the way out of the house while Lester celebrates like he was responsible for the actual slamming. Some of the guys aren't sold on the win but like DaMarques points out, a "W" is a "W".
Next up is Rob Browning vs. Jason Dent. Rob says he's ready to prove what the Brownings are all about. I think Junie already proved that after getting stomped in Season 8 and then tapping to Cole Miller at UFC Fight Night 18.
Team USA final elimination bout #2: Rob Browning (4-0) vs. Jason Dent (18-9)
Round 1: Browning rushes and Dent backs away. Low kick misses for Browning. Dent lands an outside kick. Browning returns and lands a jab. Browning shoots and pushes Dent to the fence. Dent escapes. They trade punches and kicks in the middle of the cage. Browning shoots but Dent has none of it. Browning trapped on his stomach and Dent lands a few nice body shots. Dent warned for head shots. Browning rolls over against the cage and takes some punishment. Dent with elbows. Browning goes fetal. Mazz warns him to do something other than tumbleweed. Browning unresponsive. Mazz finally stops it. I stand up and cheer. (That guy is my hero!) Hendo, not looking forward to any baggage, is relieved to be free of the Browning curse.
Jason Dent defeats Rob Browning via TKO (strikes)
On the way out the door, Browning mumbles something to Dana about returning to 135-pounds, as if it would have made any difference.
Dana rallies the troops and gives a quick pep talk. A TUF coin toss goes in favor of Team USA who gets to choose the first fight. Bisping tries to rattle the cage and fails miserably.
Stay tuned next week as Hendo drops his first F-bomb, Bisping tries to get under the skin of Team USA and the announcer promises an epic clash inside the cage.
See you in seven!