What do you get when you cross a WAMMA heavyweight champion with a UFC runaway?
Nothing.
And that's how I prefer to remember this latest public tease between exiled UFC heavyweight champion Randy "The Natural" Couture and Affliction anchor Fedor Emelianenko.
It seems the MMA world is abuzz over Monday's impromptu meeting between the pair as if their sudden penchant for male bonding actually improves their chances of ever fighting.
Couture and Emelianenko met for breakfast on August 11 prior to a scheduled photo shoot that featured both fighters. Afterwards, the two exchanged pleasantries over dinner and called it a day.
That's it.
No secret promotion, no loopholes, no fighting in Russia ala Rocky IV. Just a couple of snapshots and a creme brulee.
And let's be realistic, Couture and Emelianenko are not fighting anytime soon.
I don't want to rehash everything we've already beaten to death over the last six months, so let's quickly summarize: Randy Couture is embroiled in a legal battle with the UFC after walking out on his four-fight contract after only two fights while Fedor Emelianenko is content with letting a couple of Smirnoff-happy "advisers" tell him where to go and what to do.
As far as bad career moves go, the count is even at 1-1.
Randy bailed on his contract without honoring his commitment to the UFC, effectively denying fans a chance to see him defend his title against Antonio Rodrigo "Minotauro" Nogueira or anyone else of any merit.
Fedor signed with M-1 Global and armbarred Rawhead Rex at Yarenokka before watching the promotion fold up and submit to a hostile takeover like it was the Pemrose Corporation.
Yet despite all the obstacles, I am of the belief that a fight between Randy Couture and Fedor Emelianenko could, and should still happen. But to do so, Randy must return to the UFC and Zuffa must open its wallet and lease Fedor from MFC M-1.
Both scenarios seem pretty unlikely.
And it's a shame too, because Randy becomes less relevant with each passing event. The UFC has already replaced him with a very worthy champion in Nogueira and fans who haven't warmed up to Nog yet will certainly get their chance when he appears on The Ultimate Fighter 8 opposite Frank Mir later this year.
Aside from "Minotauro", the UFC has also begun cashing in on some of their other recent acquisitions. Some guy that you may have heard of named Brock Lesnar comes to mind.
Suddenly the UFC heavyweight division isn't quite the empty barrel it was the day Couture threw in the towel.
As for Emelianenko, he has plenty to do over at Affliction to keep him busy. He faces the winner of the Andrei Arlovski vs Josh Barnett match that takes place at Affliction: 'Day of Reckoning' on October 11 and has even agreed to fight the loser at some point down the road.
That Fedor, what a guy.
The difference is he's still fighting, whereas Couture is not.
Randy once came back from a 13-month absence to dethrone then-champion Tim "The Maine-iac" Sylvia at UFC 68. It was his longest period of inactivity since 2000. On August 25, it will be exactly one year since he last competed, a TKO victory over Gabriel Gonzaga at UFC 74.
Between his legal issues and Fedor's commitment to Affliction (and the 'Fighting Fedor' reality series), it might be another year after that before he could potentially face Emelianenko. Will he still have what it takes at that point to hang with a guy like Fedor?
More importantly, will anyone still care?
I hope those are some pretty good photos taken of Randy and Fedor on Monday. It may be the only chance we get to see them together for quite some time.