Episode 7 rolls right out of the gate with fight selections - and a little air guitar by Rampage - who now controls the selections after last week's victory courtesy of Dan Cramer.
Rampage wants to keep that control and after a Vincent Price post-Thriller laugh, picks Gerald Harris to manhandle Amir Sadollah.
At the Team Blue training session we get fed highlights of Gerald Harris and his penchant for slamming opponents. Rampage refers to him as mini-me but I'm sorry, Gerald Harris ain't got shit on Verne Troyer.
Over at Team Brown, Amir raises the roof over his torrid 0-0 record. Forrest comforts him by telling him that if he's still conscious and doesn't break his arm during the fight, to try and use it as an opportunity to get back to his feet.
Forrest also bets Amir that if he wins, Forrest will shave half his head. Either way, both scenarios seem improbable.
Outside, Gerald has a quiet moment and shares his motivation for fighting - two hungry boys to feed. Gerald gets no love from the producers as the requisite still photos and solemn piano music do not make an appearance.
Team Brown's Amir Sadollah (0-0) vs. Team Blue's Gerald Harris (7-2)
Round 1: They circle each other and Forrest shouts: "Make him pay for the real estate!" Gerald shoots and scores. Amir holds on tight for a while as they struggle for position. Gerald postures and gets a few elbows but Amir is not making it easy. Gerald lands a Fedor-esque punch to the mat complete with sonic boom. Amir finds his way back to his feet. Gerald drops down and gets a hold of him and (surprise) scoops him up and slams him. Amir kicks him off and gets back up but Gerald quickly pushes him right back to the cage. Gerald gets a hold of him and once again Amir eats canvas. Amir responds with the softest hammer fists in the history of the UFC. Amir again gets up and again gets wrestled down. Gerald is clinging to a leg. Amir finds his way to his feet and stays pressed against the cage as the round ends. All Gerald.
Round 2: Amir jabs into open air and lands a nice leg kick. And another. A third attempt gets him pressed against the cage into a Van Damme style leg split. Gerald drops him and lands a big elbow. Amir stands up and lands a flush knee but doesn't faze the charging Gerald. Amir spins out of the shoot and gets on top but quickly loses it to the faster Gerald who again takes him down. The wily Amir rises and secures an impromptu clinch which allows him to land a devastating knee that drops Gerald like a newborn calf. Amir plops down and under-punches an unresponsive Gerald. The referee issues a stoppage warning but gets no improvement from Gerald and stops the fight. Moments later Gerald begins screaming that he wasn't out but since he was unable to improve his position after getting dropped (and warned), has no case.
It was a busy fight, dominated by Gerald who used his wrestling to maintain a dominant position. Aside from the slams he was not able to do much damage from the top and Amir was constantly able to escape. He may have taken his offense for granted in round two which opened him up and let Amir get his shot in.
In the locker room Gerald breaks down and finally gets his piano solo. Rampage consoles him and the reality of what many of these guys have risked for this opportunity becomes very real. Gerald gets my respect for going out there and giving it 100% which in the end is all any of us can really ask for.
Amir on the other hand gets my respect for his display of heart and resiliency. He took a pounding but fought smart and kept his composure. He waited for his opening and capitalized.
A disappointed Rampage considers going on a bender to make up for the tough loss.
Back at the house, Patrick Shultz is angered that he hasn't been picked yet. Knowing his skill set, Schultz must have stuff to do back home and needs to get out of there ASAP. At the picks he gets paired up with Cale Yarbrough which by default leaves the remaining match of C.B. Dolloway and Nick Klein.
Rampage is not impressed with Cale who would lose to Big Momma Jackson according to Rampage himself. Cale by his own admission has no concept of the ground game which explains why he is matched up against Schultz. But it does not explain why he was picked to be on the show in the first place considering that MMA is more than just striking.
Team Brown's Cale Yarbrough (0-0) vs. Team Blue's Patrick Schultz (7-1-1)
Round 1: Cale opens with a kick and gets tossed to the floor. Back on their feet they trade jabs and do some dancing. Schultz lands a reaching-in right. After some more dancing he lands another, this time dropping Cale. Schultz does not pounce and Cale recovers. They go back to the center of the cage and trade some more. Schultz getting the better of the exchange. Some ugly brawling taking place. Cale eats three stiff shots. Both sides scream for the guys to keep their hands up. Out of nowhere Cale shoots and takes Shultz down. What was ugly on the feet is positively gruesome on the floor. Cale is punching like he's pressing a hamburger patty. Schultz gets to his feet and they swing wild. Cale with another takedown. More patty-forming. Round expires as Schultz loses his mouthpiece.
Round 2: Both fighters exchange kicks and punches, some landing, some not. Cale scores a takedown and Schultz looks happy to be off his feet. Cale starts working the elbow and pushes Schultz to the cage. Cale starting to pour it on with punches and elbows. One of the trainers is explaining to Cale (step-by-step) how to transition to mount. It reminded me of that A-Team episode where Murdock is blinded and has to talk Hannibal through a plane landing. Anyway, Cale gives up the complex mount and goes back to using Shultz's face as a speedbag. Schultz looks lifeless and at this point is probably too tired to even tap out if he wanted to. The round ends (mercifully) with Schultz being pummeled.
Judges tally up the points and Rampage sounds extremely surprised that the fight is not going to a third round. A smarmy Forrest offers Cale for a third but Rampage is not amused and fires back. Schultz has the audacity to punk Forrest in the midst of all the arguing and part of me wanted to see a re-enactment of Griffin's infamous bone-shattering leg kick.
A disgusted Rampage walks-off, but not before promising Forrest that they don't go to a decision when they eventually fight - and he'll even bet his entire purse on it . Dana compares their bickering to Ken and Tito causing viewers around the globe to wince in unison. Somewhere off camera Forrest can be heard going apeshit.
Stay tuned next week as the final preliminary fight is held, Forrest gets his mad on, and Rampage is owned - Spiderman style.
See you then!
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