By Jesse Holland
Episode five starts out with another look at Blake and Richie's fight and unfortunately it hasn't gotten any prettier with age. Afterwards Mac tells Blake he's not a real fighter and also refers to Richie as "a little turd".
Speaking of things that need to be flushed, we get to relive the Andy Wang experiment from season five as the guys settle in at the house for the TUF 5 finale. Andy eats a huge kick from opponent Cole Miller just as we learn that Mac and Andy are as close as brothers.
Andy goes to sleep and Mac cries foul. He rants about a bogus stoppage and even goes so far as to call Andy a real fighter who can take a shot.
It's hard to give Mac any credibility when he praises Wang yet shits on Blake and Richie in the same breath. That's a package deal as far as I'm concerned.
During a Hughes training session Jared gets pegged to challenge George. Forgetting just how many people will be watching come October, Jared looks straight into the camera and says "Georgie-poo is my target for extermination".
Coach Hughes makes a surprise visit at the house and with him is a cell phone for Paul to call home. It's nothing short of ominous when they bring you a phone in a house that forbids any phone calls.
As expected, Paul has a death in the family (cousin) and he must now decide to stay or go. Dana actually makes an exception and allows him to fly home for the wake - so long as he agrees to fight before he leaves.
Hughes has to scrap his original fight and gives Paul a choice between Jon and Troy. He leans towards Jon but ends up with Troy at the fight pick.
Paul pimps his takedowns and jiu-jitsu while Troy talks about his friendship with fellow Hawaiian BJ Penn and how great a singer he is. On paper this is your standard striker vs. grappler.
Back at the house Mac shows his tender side by saving a drowning bee from the pool. He then moves inside to let the local houseflies crawl all over him (who he claims are more hygienic than most of his housemates). I'm sure somewhere up in Heaven David Hedison is nodding in approval.
Meanwhile, Blake starts to unravel over Mac's name calling and takes out his anger on some unsuspecting dishes. Instead of breaking them or throwing them across the room like many men of anger would do, he thoroughly washes and dries them.
If this is how Blake handles personal attacks, then I sincerely hope he reads my recap of episode four. It was pasta night at the Holland's and my sink is in dire need of attention.
We get another Mac attack and this time he's better than everyone else in the house because he's been in this game for seven years and paid his dues and blah blah blah. If you've been fighting for seven years and the farthest you've gotten is a reality show with some people off the street, then perhaps you need to look inside yourself and not at the other fighters.
As if we needed further proof of his tribulations, Mac reminisces about the time he drove from Pennsylvania to Los Angeles with $200 dollars in his pocket. That is impressive considering the trip is about 2,800 miles. He either gets 200 miles to the gallon or he didn't stop for food.
Hughes tries to rally the troops and call out Mac for all the Blake bashing. Ever the optimist, Hughes hopes Mac will apologize back at the house. I guess Hughes doesn't know Mac as well as he thought he did.
Troy and the gang decide it's clobbering time and go fly hunting in the kitchen. Troy does a very tasteless Steve Irwin impression as he stalks them throughout the house. Before I can get too annoyed he redeems himself by creating an exact replica of Mac's head using a water jug and a Sharpie.
It's fight day (finally) and Troy shows up wearing a lampshade on his head. Round one begins with a nice leg kick from Paul. Troy answers with a punch. Paul jumps into guard and works for a submission.
Troy moves slowly but is following his corners advice. Paul almost secures a kimura. Troy has trouble doing any damage from the top but manages to get to his feet. Inexplicably Paul joins him and they trade a few blows.
Troy delivers a crushing right and Paul goes limp. Troy wins by KO. Mr. Sensitive Matt Hughes makes sure he berates Paul's strategy as he's regaining consciousness. Serra offers him some encouragement and gives him a pat on the back.
Despite Paul's bad news, this was a pretty uneventful episode. The fight was fairly good but I'm anxious to see some of the favorites get in there and mix it up.
Stay tuned next week as Hughes is livid that he's one loss away from losing fight control and the boys become punching bags/grappling dummies during training.
See you then!