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Bad Blood: Dana White vs. Tito Ortiz vs. Fan apathy

Tito Ortiz vs Dana white
By Jesse Holland
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Have you ever been in a situation where someone tells a joke in front of a group of people and it bombs? And instead of having the grace and dignity to accept defeat they just stand there and try to either expound on the joke with an even worse follow-up joke, or they try and walk you through it to explain why it was funny enough to be told in the first place?

That's kind of how I feel about the upcoming premiere of Bad Blood: Dana White vs. Tito Ortiz tomorrow at 11 p.m. on Spike TV. Only this joke, in addition to being humorless, has no punch line. What started as an awful premise has become nothing more than a contemptuous and embarrassing extension of bad taste for all parties involved.

The show is an in-depth look at the exhibition boxing match Dana White and Tito Ortiz were set to have on March 24 after many years of name calling and finger pointing because as we've all learned, fighting solves everything.

However, the promised three-round session never happened.

I won't bore you with another retread of how or why Dana and Tito were going to fight in the first place. You can catch up on the history from one of our earlier posts here.

I'm sure the primeval among us will beat on their chests and tell you what a great idea this was since the whole concept of the UFC is built upon two men beating the crap out of each other.

But this is not an accurate assessment.

What happens inside the Octagon is a sport with honor and integrity. Using your skill and ability to settle differences outside of the cage in the name of MMA is like using a Louisville Slugger to smash a pitcher's mailbox after striking out in the World Series in the name of baseball.

No matter.

After all the talk and all the hype Tito was a no-show and that surprised me because he seemed to be the one that wanted this fight the most. Ask him what happened and he did something so inexcusable, so mind-boggling, I can barely put it into words: He checked with his girlfriend and she said no.

Folks I have nothing against Jenna Jameson. She's done a lot for the male population. But as you'll read here, Tito claims his absence was all about business. You know when I think informed business decision Miss Jameson isn't really the first person that comes to mind.

And when did we amend the man-law to make it okay to get permission from your girlfriend? Look I have to get permission from my wife all the time but at least I have the common sense to lie about it:

"Sorry guys I'd love play poker in a hot tub at Scores but I have to meet a client and get contracts signed."

Anyone who remembers the stoppage that was Ortiz-Shamrock 2 will remember Dana's damage control: "We know you hated the ending just as much as Ken did so we're going to give it to you again and this time we're going to put it on free TV!" (Like anyone would have paid to see them fight yet again).

In keeping with that tradition of hype first, disappoint later (Wanderlei Silva anyone?) the boys at UFC programming decided to give us an inside look at the bad blood between Dana and Tito with a tell-all conclusion to their saga in an effort to hide the fact that once again, they failed to deliver on a hyped-up fight.

Maybe this time they were doing us a favor. Now do yourselves one and don't tune in.