This is supposed to be fun ... but it's starting to feel like abuse.
Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) continues to pound us over the head with live mixed martial arts (MMA) events, staging its third major show in just five days, before returning with number four this Saturday afternoon in Glasgow, Scotland.
Hold on while I catch my breath.
UFC Fight Night 71: "Mir vs. Duffee" pops off later tonight (Weds., July 15, 2015) inside Valley View Casino Center in San Diego, California, headlined by the heavyweight hoedown pitting former 265-pound champion Frank Mir opposite streaking power-puncher Todd Duffee.
For all the UFC Fight Night 71 odds and betting lines click here.
In this special midweek preview, I'll take a closer look at the main and co-main event, the leave quick picks for the entire card, since the jet-setting Patty Stumberg was too busy tying dead mammals to the roof of his Range Rover to leave me with his "Prelims" picks.
Let's get to it.
265 lbs.: Frank Mir (17-9) vs. Todd Duffee (9-2)
Frank Mir fans -- and there are aplenty -- should be panicking over the fact that the former heavyweight champ tipped the scales at a bloated 262 pounds. I understand packing on the extra pounds for a Brazilian bus like Antonio Silva, but in a fight where he already has a considerable disadvantage in speed and athleticism?
Not a good sign.
Speaking of "Bigfoot," I don't subscribe to this theory that Mir is "back" because he sank Silva, 35, who has now been knocked out in six of his seven losses. Not the way he looked against Alistair Overeem or Josh Barnett. Those fights were telling and let's face it, Mir has never been a great wrestler.
His paint-by-numbers striking won't cut the mustard here, either.
That said, the minute you don't respect him, he breaks your arm (Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira) or knocks you the fuck out (Cheick Kongo). He is the most dangerous grappler in the division and has a powerful left hand. Todd Duffee, meanwhile, is younger -- but not young -- and has been enjoying the path of least resistance.
Not one win by the former darling of Dairy Queen impresses me.
I don't think it impresses him, either, which is why he called Mir out. It was the smart play, too, because Mir is 36 and lost four of his last five, but still has enough of a name to make beating him feel like a big deal. You know "former champion" and all that jazz.
This isn't a squash by any stretch of the imagination and Mir has a better chance as the fight goes on. Duffee has a tendency to get stuck in first gear when things don't go his way and one mistake can get his arm torn off. I just have a hard time imagining a scenario that doesn't involve an early blitzkrieg.
Or a first-round knockout.
Pick: Duffee via TKO
155 lbs.: Tony "El Cucuy" Ferguson (18-3) vs. Josh "The Punk" Thomson (20-7)
Josh Thomson was one of the first fighters to be truly good at everything, and that still holds true to this day. "The Punk" can strike, grapple, wrestle, and endure long, drawn-out dogfights across five rounds. Unfortunately, the operative word is "good" and not "great," as the ex-Strikeforce champ failed to reach Mt. Olympus after returning to UFC.
And I don't like picking a fighter who's been talking about retirement for the last two years.
I don't blame him, since the 36-year-old veteran has a lot of miles on those tires and injuries have dogged him from day one. His lack of output in recent fights is also troubling and it's not outrageous to suggest he could have beaten Bobby Green if he fought like he had something to lose.
I get it, laurels are comfortable, but sometimes he spends too much time resting on them.
There won't be any quarter given by the younger and perhaps hungrier Tony Ferguson, who is criminally underrated in the lightweight division, despite an 8-1 record in UFC with six violent finishes. And hey, any guy who can stop Gleison Tibau should be awarded an honorary title shot.
Not that it matters, because I think "El Cucuy" will earn one regardless.
Ferguson has plenty of momentum after winning five straight and his collegiate wrestling title means this fight only goes to the floor if he wants it to. TUF 13 champ also holds a distinct advantage in size and power, but more importantly, fights with a greater sense of urgency.
Don't be surprised to see Thomson come out and do that "Hey look at me, I'm smiling and having fun because I'm a veteran and I've seen and done it all" routine, only to get popped and dropped, then choked into unconsciousness.
Pick: Ferguson via submission
135 lbs.: Holly "The Preacher's Daughter" Holm (8-0) vs. Marion "The Bruiser" Reneau (6-1)
Holm is being groomed for an eventual Ronda Rousey fight and despite her tougher-than-expected outing against Raquel Pennington, it was her Octagon debut and gets a free pass. She won't need one here, running through Reneau with slick strikes and punishing kicks.
Pick: Holm via TKO
135 lbs.: Manny "The Anvil" Gamburyan (14-8) vs. Scott "Young Guns" Jorgensen (15-10)
I wish I could blame Jorgensen's run of bad luck on the drop to 125 pounds, but he was getting worked prior to changing divisions and stands at just 2-6 dating back to 2011. At 32 years old, I don't expect any miracles against Gamburyan, who also moves around, but is consistently a tough out in every fight.
Pick: Gamburyan via unanimous decision
155 lbs.: Kevin "The Motown Phenom" Lee (10-1) vs. James "Moonwalker" Moontasri (8-2)
This is an outstanding fight between two very talented lightweight up-and-comers, but I'm worried that Lee -- a wrestler by trade -- has yet to score a knockout or technical knockout in 11 pro fights. That could give Moontasri the ability to work without fear of the one-hitter quitter, but that same loosey-goosey attack will get him taken down early and often.
Pick: Lee via unanimous decision
170 lbs.: Alan "Brahma" Jouban (11-3) vs. Matt Dwyer (8-2)
Dwyer is getting a lot of attention for his flying Superman punch knockout last February, but let's also remember he was pasted in his UFC debut just a few months before that. With 16 combined knockouts, there is no way this thing lasts 15 minutes and if Jouban performs the way I expect him to, it won't even last five.
Pick: Jouban via technical knockout
145 lbs.: Yaotzin Meza (21-9) vs. Sam Sicilia (14-5)
Sicilia has been thoroughly unimpressive under the UFC banner and his knockout win over the brittle Akira Corassani only pulled him to 4-4 inside the Octagon. Still, he's got power and some decent submissions, which should be enough to keep this standing against the consistently inconsistent Meza, who at 34, isn't getting any better.
Pick: Sicilia via knockout
135 lbs.: Jessica "Bate Estaca" Andrade (12-4) vs. Sarah "Cheesecake" Moras (4-1)
Probably the easiest pick on the card. Moras was unable to make an impact during her stint on TUF 18 and hasn't competed in over a year. In addition, she's fighting a young, hungry Brazilian with more than twice the experience and 10 finishes in 12 wins. This will not end well for "Cheesecake."
Pick: Andrade via technical knockout
135 lbs.: Masanori Kanehara (25-11-5) vs. Rani Yahya (20-8)
Yahya used to be a big deal back in the day. Then again, I used to have a full head of hair. Nearly 30 professional fights and not a single win by knockout? Like, not even by accident? He's in trouble against Kanehara, who is also a formidable grappler, but one who possesses superior striking.
Pick: Kanehara via unanimous decision
170 lbs.: Igor Araujo (25-7) vs. Sean "Tarzan" Strickland (15-1)
The promotion is very high on the future of Strickland, who is still just 24 years old, and I believe he was paired off against the 34-year-old Araujo because Araujo is, well, 34 years old. They are both coming off a loss and blah, blah, blah, but let's face it, giving "Tarzan" an opponent with just one knockout win in 25 victories was no accident.
Pick: Strickland via technical knockout
185 lbs.: Ildemar "Marajo" Alcantara (21-7) vs. "King" Kevin Casey (8-3)
Casey couldn't get it done on TUF, then failed his UFC 175 drug test, not that it stopped him from getting another fight. Unfortunately for "King," who is a talented grappler, he's facing the more experienced Alcantara, who will likely take over once the muscular Casey runs out of gas.
Pick: Alcantara via unanimous decision
170 lbs.: Andrew "Highlight" Craig (9-3) vs. Lyman "Cyborg" Good (18-3)
I'm not sure what to make of Lyman Good. He makes a mockery of the regional scene but then fails to fight his way into TUF house? I'm going to chalk that up to a bad performance or television jitters. Either way, I expect him to manhandle Craig, who started off hot in 2012 but then fell to 1-3 over his last four and has yet to prove he can perform effectively at 170 pounds.
Pick: Good via unanimous decision
Not a bad line up, all things considered.
Alright then fight fans, you've heard my picks. Now let's hear yours.
Who ya' got?