FanPost

Hump Day Whine!

Going Bowling

Is it a sport, is it a hobby, or is it just something to take the wife to so you don't have to sit at home and have another unnecessary conversation about how you never doing your share? Either way, it's fucking exhausting. Think of it this way, you get to drive down to some seedy looking lot, walk in to a place that perpetually smells like feet, eat pizza that you doubt was made in the same decade, and pay someone to roll some balls and hope that you don't drop a gutter. Sounds like a weekend with OilCheck in Alaska without having to freeze your nutsack off.

Pretending like a good time is being had is the only thing you can do. Let's try to make the best of it by grabbing a couple of beers. Let's pay $30 for some warm light beer that is 80% foam. You traipse around the alley looking for a ball that won't suffocate your fingers and grab the heaviest one because no one wants to look like a bitch throwing a 9lb ball down the lane. Spend the rest of the night throwing as hard as you can, praying to Odin that you don't look like a bitch and get your finger stuck in the ball as you throw. Wash, rinse, repeat. By the end of the night, you feel like you contracted rheumatoid arthritis in your hand and your forearm hasn't hurt this much since the first time you learned how to pleasure yourself. Quite frankly, I feel more accomplished spending the night at home and birthing some knuckle children to a picture of JonnyBoy6969's sweet man titties rather then bowling.

Fuck Bowling

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