Bang! Say da da da da...
Fists are going to fly at the UFC on FOX 12 event and as mixed martial arts (MMA) fans, we'll be here to watch the bodies fall.
Or will we?
"Lawler vs. Brown" -- aptly named for its welterweight headliner featuring Robbie Lawler vs. Matt Brown -- has a ton of hype behind it. A judges' decision (gasp) could cause mass pandemonium inside the SAP Center on Saturday night (July 26, 2014) in San Jose, California.
And fans are calling for blood in the co-main event between Anthony Johnson and Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, as well.
Rounding out the four-fight main card is a featherweight fracas pitting resident "Carpenter" Clay Guida opposite rising "Menace" Dennis Bermudez, while Strikeforce imports Josh Thomson and Bobby Green sling leather in the 155-pound curtain jerker.
Here we go...
170 lbs.: "Ruthless" Robbie Lawler (23-10) vs. "The Immortal" Matt Brown (19-11)
Nostradumbass predicts: Holy Shitoli, WWE UFC jammed the fireplace bellow up the ass of this fight and pumped it up to the point of near explosion. How can this welterweight title-eliminator bout possibly live up to expectations? It's going to be hard.
But not necessarily impossible.
Matt Brown is a bad motherfucker. No doubt about it. But let's be careful that we don't overcommit to his seven-fight path of destruction. Not only were his match-ups extremely favorable to his style, there isn't anyone in the "Immortal" obituaries who can stack up against the guys Robbie Lawler has smoked.
And while his five-round war against Johny Hendricks was a "loss," Lawler showed what kind of fighter he is across five grueling rounds.
Compare that to Brown's most recent performance and a lot of fans will tell you he nearly murked Erick Silva on national television. So does that mean we overlook the fact that he was nearly stopped by his own liver? "Indio's" tactical error may have cost him that fight and you don't get many second chances against Brown.
That worries me in this bout.
Lawler has been known to short-circuit in big fights. I've seen the former middleweight eat a ton of punches, smile, then charge forward. Or cover up and weather the storm against the cage and wait for his turn. The problem against Brown is that you don't get a turn.
If "Immortal" is allowed to dictate the pace and control the center of the cage, he wins this fight.
But if Lawler stays composed and relies on his "Ruthless" skill as an aggressive striker -- an area where his abilities supersede those of his opponent -- he's going to turn Brown upside down. I have to imagine there is a huge bullseye on that rib cage.
It's up to Lawler to shoot for it.
Final prediction: Lawler def. Brown via technical knockout
205 lbs.: Anthony "Rumble" Johnson (17-4) vs. Antonio Rogerio "Minotoro" Nogueira (21-5)
Nostradumbass predicts: You sleazy, fair-weather fan. Yeah you, you know who I'm talking about, don't be looking around. Kick a poor old man like Antonio Rogerio Nogueira to the curb and for what? Because he looks like a beat-up Mr. Potato Head?
Shame on you.
Okay, so "Lil' Nog" had one or two injuries throughout his career, all of the sudden he's washed up? Let's not forget he holds a submission win over Dan Henderson, as well as a technical knockout victory over Alistair Overeem, two former Strikeforce champions.
He also out-struck Rashad Evans, former UFC light heavyweight kingpin.
Who the hell has Anthony Johnson beaten? DJ No-chinderman? Andrei ArLOLski? He looked great against Phil Davis at UFC 172, no question, but out-striking "Mr. Wonderful" is like being the tallest guy in the Lollipop Guild. It doesn't mean anything.
Scary power? Yep. Technically sound? No doubt about it.
But Nogueira was the 2006-07 Brazilian super heavyweight champion in boxing and won a bronze medal in the 2007 Pan-Am Games. "Rumble" is going to try to stand and trade with the Brazilian until he starts getting lit up like a Hasbro Lite-Brite.
Then he'll fall into bad habits for the remainder of the bout and start looking for the one-hitter quitter, all while "Minotoro" picks him apart across the second half of the fight. I know Johnson suddenly became a media darling, I'm just combing through his record and having a hard time understanding why.
Final prediction: Nogueira def. Johnson via unanimous decision
145 lbs.: Clay "The Carpenter" Guida (31-14) vs. Dennis "The Menace" Bermudez (13-3)
Nostradumbass predicts: Dennis Bermudez recently said that Clay Guida was past his prime. I'm not sure I agree with that assessment. Not because "The Carpenter" is on an upswing, but rather because I'm not sure there ever was a prime for the former lightweight.
We're talking about a guy with 14 losses across his career.
Guida can beat half of his division on cardio alone, but that's not a trait exclusive to him. Most fighters are ill-prepared to get mugged-and-slugged for 15 minutes straight, from a guy who is just as smothering in round three as he is in the opening frame.
That's assuming Guida fights like the old "Carpenter," and not the drunken master who stunk up the joint against Gray Maynard.
Either way, he's fighting a younger version of himself in Bermudez. The difference is, "The Menace" is the beneficiary of next-generation MMA; meaning, the sport has evolved and so too, has its fighters, which is why the ex-TUF guy has now captured six in a row.
Make it seven.
Bermudez does have some work to do with his submission defense -- and Guida owns 15 taps -- but in order for that to happen, Gweeds has to either A) knock him down with a punch or B) wrestle him to the ground and keep him there. Based on his opponent's upward trajectory in recent fights, both scenarios seem unlikely.
Final prediction: Bermudez def. Guida via unanimous decision
155 lbs.: Josh "The Punk" Thomson (20-6) vs. "King" Bobby Green (22-5)
Nostradumbass predicts: Josh Thomson turns 36 in a couple of weeks and every time he fights, I keep expecting him to just completely fall apart inside the cage. Like that scene from The Gate, just one punch and he faceplants onto the canvas and explodes into a dozen or so mini-Punks.
You think Lil' Nog is injury prone? I'd put Thomson's medical chart up against his any day of the week.
What's amazing is that in spite of all that, he continues to perform at a high level, and took Benson Henderson to the limit last January, fresh off his knockout win over Nate Diaz. You can also argue he won that final dance against Gilbert Melendez and well, it's hard to imagine him losing here.
But sleeping on Bobby Green would be a huge mistake.
"King" has looked unstoppable since migrating over from Strikeforce and anyone thinking that Thomson will be able to employ a wrestling-based offense might want to go back and check the Jacob Volkmann and Pat Healy fights. Green is having none of it.
This one will likely play out on the feet.
Green has just as much experience as Thomson, but unfortunately, he hasn't been facing the same caliber of opponent. It's also difficult to pick him for the upset considering he took this fight on short notice (but was still training for a later date).
I'm doing it anyway.
Thomson is a great fighter and had a terrific career, but sooner or later the sport catches up to you. I think "The Punk" takes too long to find his groove and without the fourth and fifth rounds to drag his opponent into deep waters, he's likely to give this one away on points.
Final prediction: Green def. Thomson via unanimous decision
That's a wrap.
For previews and predictions on the preliminary card fights click here and here. To see all the odds and betting lines for UFC on FOX 12 click here and remember to come check us out after the show for all the latest results, recaps and coverage of "Lawler vs. Brown."
What do you think? Now it's your turn ... let us have it in the comments section and share your thoughts and picks for tomorrow night's event.