I am fuckin HYPED for UFC fight night 45. I got my tickets, and my fake I.D and my extra large condoms and I am ready to fuckin roll.
So let's break down a few of these special fuckin fights shall we?
U don't like WMMA bro? DONT FUCKIN CARE!
First ever straw weight fight in UFC history.
Hopefully these women realize that they need to put on a barn burner for anyone to give a good god damn about this fight. Gadelha is a heavy favorite here and rightfully so. She is a highly ranked fighter for this weight class and will probabaly be a fixture of this division for a while. Maybe not, I really don't know but this is killin my buzzzzzzzz
PICK: CLAUDIA GADELHA
Who knows, I may or may not make it to the first fight of the night. I am gonna level with you guys because I trust you. i trust you all deeper than smerf can shove a whole cucumber down his throat. I am gonna be straight hopped up on mountain dew and georgi vodka. I may get arrested for propositioning a tranny on the boardwalk.
speaking of trannys
Gleison Tibau v. Pat "Bam Bam" Healy
I love Pat Healy. He is a nice dude and he smokes weed. He lives in the woods and gives no fucks about what people think. His first fight in the UFC he upset Jim Miller and I thought Pat could make a run. He has looked like shit ever since then. I am not convinced he has the highest fight IQ. I pick Tibau by either viscous TKO or savy split decision.
this feels.... right
Rick Story v. Leonardo Mafra
Rick Story is the man. The main thing about this fight is that I can't decide if Rick is gonna grab Mafra and rip his head off like a doll, or punch a hole through his dick. Seriously, this Mafra kid is in way over his head, like me in a threesome... this kid just does not have the tools to pull it out.
PICK: HORROR STORY
I saw Bellator 95 (or something like that, it was Curran v. Shamalamadingdong) at Revels Ovation center. For BFC, the place had a nice environment, it was about 3/4 full of hardcore MMA fans. A UFC event at such an intimate venue will probably be fuckin incredible. Like really fuckin incredible. There is not a bad view in the entire place. I will be able hear Mike Goldberg grinding his teeth from my seat!
Good scrap, good scrap, can't complain here. Really hoping for Barboza to rebound from that quick loss to Cerrone and decapitate Dunham here. Can Dunham grind out a decision? Yes. Will he? No. Barboza will lull him to sleep and goad him into striking exchanges. Expect a late KO.
PICK: BARBOZA TKO R3
Donald Cerrone v. Jim Miller
This main event really is the tits. If you love MMA, this is the kind of fight that give you wet dreams. If you love wet dreams (cough Joben cough) then watch this fight. Both fighters are on hot streaks and both fighters are known for spectacular performances. Jim Miller is fighting in front of a home crowd. Combined with the fact that Miller struggles against his toughest opponents (Henderson, Diaz) I think he may fight tense and conservative. Cerrone on the other hand has an edge in the don't give a fuck department. This benefits him when he is going to subs or flashy KOs. I am expecting a total back and forth affair that will have people talking for a while. This is exactly the type of fight that needs to be showcased on ESPN.
PICK: CERRONE DECISION
I am fuckin hype for this card and I cannot wait to go and win the event in the money pool!