MANIACS CONVERSATIONS: Share the funniest insults or trash talks you've read in Mania

I created this thread for us Maniacs to have a little bit of sharing and fun as we approach the double-header UFC Fight Night card this weekend. Lately, we have been seeing some troll fests and lots of greenings on this site - something that is not Mania. Anyway, let's just follow Rule 1 and ignore those scum bags. The best thing we could do is to be like a community and feel like a community by interacting more and sharing stories, bashing fighters and sharing semi-nude pictures (Oily, we're not talking of men here!).

As an effort to get the OGs, regulars and new community members (trolls not allowed here FFS) to have a good time and talk like a community, please share the funniest insults or trash talks, stories, witticisms, or whatever you can remember to be funny that you saw, read or encountered here in Mania.

Let me start.

  • From a Mania article on Chael Sonnen: "We only had one and that was Chandella [Powell]," "The other was the IQ card girl. Arianny [Celeste] kind of walks around and holds up her latest test score. One time when there was a title fight, she got all the way up to five and we were very proud of her."
  • From an angry MMA poster: I don’t give a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I’ll put you in so much fucking pain that it’ll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don’t give a fuck how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you own to protect yourself. I’ll fucking show up at your house when you aren’t home. I’ll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You’re going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you’ll have a fucking heart attack. You’ll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you’ll see when you’re being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You’ll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I’ll run you over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I’d rather go to a great fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. It’s too late to save yourself, but don’t bother committing suicide either… I’ll fucking resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you

  • From Jay, our former MMP Commissioner to daniel worby: I think there's a few people here that are happy you're still around. They’ll never be the biggest piece of shit on Mania as long as you’re here.
  • From Trip-Pilch: Wander off and play with your junior novelty size asian penis and get back to me if you manage to hit the 3 inch mark

  • From a Maniac to Connor McGregor: And also, you ain’t done shit yet in the UFC but run your mouth. Clean yourself up, shave, start acting like an adult, and show us what you can do. Just because you blew Dana in a ferrari on the strip doesn’t give you a juice card that allows you to talk shit after you decisioned a guy and walked out with an injury. Sit on the sidelines and shut your mouth. Watch how these here men conduct business. The business your mouth has conducted ended when you popped your head up from daddy Dana’s lap and took the walk of shame back to Motel 6.

  • Because Joben lost a bet when he picked Mitrione: If I had a nickel for everything I know about striking; I’d be broke as fuck. This same fact is why I have an absolute mancrush on Matt Mitrione… or did before Big Country turned him into the first pro fighter to ever need a colostomy bag. Speaking of colostomy bags; real MMA fans all know just how SHITty Matt Mitrione is… so I guess I’m not one. What I am, however, is a ginger who believes that playing on the same team as Drew Brees will make you succesful in all walks of life. I don’t know what a high kick is either… something Matt Mitrione and I have in common. Matt Mitrione supposedly "trains" at Blackzilians, but the truth is that he was fooled (just like I was) by the myth of giant black penis… it shows in his lack of progress. Anybody with 6 brain cells or more could learn SOMETHING from being around Overeem all the time, instead Mitrione’s kicks look like a shitty fat cheerleaders. I guess I’ll go back to the drawingboard, Matt too… though our drawingboards look more like etcha sketches; that’s what we’re working with here.

  • From a Matt-Brown fan: Matt Brown is the last real man in the UFC and possibly America, while the rest of the male population has been so emasculated that they try to emulate woman in any way possible, Matt Brown represents a time before when men were men.

  • Again, Joben lost a bet: "Hi. My name is Joben. and i am an alcoholic. I wear turtle necks and skinny jeans, listen to Drake, and drink wine coolers. Sometimes I black out and wake up with strange pains and cock breath. Oh well. Just so happens I got drunk and challenged 10th to month long sig bet, and went on this retarted rant about how Mir would beat Junior.. How fucking stupid is that?! Well, it turns out I’m a fuckin dickhead and my MMA knowledge is novice at best. But while my fight skills are terrible, my tongue game is the truth. I suck a mean cock so next time I drink too much and run my stupid fuckin mouth, somebody just whip there dick out and shove it down my throat, and don’t worry about warning me before you cum, i like the suprise, and I take it like a champ just like my cunt mother.. (deletion mine)

  • On a Uriah Hall thread: Dana White took every load of Uriah's semen down his throat during that TUF run…And then he lost to some pudgy baby.

  • On Frank Mir vs DC: After 15 minutes he showed to me his improved relationship skills. He is a hell of a hugger and he is commited. He showed Cormier so much TLC in that fight that Daniel probably deleted his account after being embraced like that.

Share yours Maniacs and let's have fun before the fights!

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