FanPost

The Free Joben Movement

Right then, I've been informed by our commissioner that reinstatement has been suggested by the powers that be. But first he needs to raise $1,000 Yankee dollars in donations to some registered charity.

That's pretty fucking steep charity work if you ask me. I begged my friends, family, and distant relatives to sponsor some ride to cure fat fucks dying of heart attacks or some bullshit and all I got was $150. But I figure if Joben is willing to ride some bollocks bike to cure bollocks cancer and asks us to chip in then we could probably spare as much as $5 each. Maybe as much as $10 each, especially high roller fucks like Pablo.

So now Joben just needs to pick his charity. So what's it going to be? Bollocks cancer? Third world orphans? The United Colors of Benetton?

Honestly, I hate charity because give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But give a man a fishing pole and he'll sit in a boat and get shitfaced, fall in and drown. Problem solved.

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