Trying to do math in your head!
Can anybody really do this anymore? Because it kinda feels like a lost art these days. Give me any two single digit numbers, or double digit up to twelve, and I can add, subtract, divide, and multiply the fuck out of them. Beyond that, and it becomes more of a guessing game than anything really.
When faced with the little moments in life where head math is called for, like adding the appropriate tip to a bill, calculating change, or even figuring out someone’s age when knowing their birth date, my brain becomes a foggy New York loading dock. Ask me to multiply 9 x 13, and I get nervous. Nothing makes sense when I do head math. Basically, all the years of my complete dependency on the calculator, have made me, well, dependent on that awesome little bastard.
My generation could be known as the lost children of head math. The only thing we're good for is remembering the finger trick for multiples of nine, but beyond that, we're basically useless. We could tell you that 100 – 50 = 50, but when asked what 99 – 50 is, no one knows. It could be anything between 49-51. We'd need a calculator to be certain for fuck's sake.
Have you ever been in a room with other people when a head math question comes up? What a cluster fuck that is. Everyone starts trying to figure out the answer in their head at the beginning, and then once you, and most of the other dummies in the room realize you can’t figure it out, you just start pretending to look like you're still trying to figure it out, when really, you're just waiting for someone else to hopefully come up with the answer. When the one sonovabitch who actually has the ability to do math in their head blurts out the answer, no one else in the room can really verify if it is right or not, so everyone just hesitantly mumbles "yeah, that’s it, yup..exactly what I had" hoping to trick everyone into thinking that they also came to the same answer while doing fake head math.
The day that calculators get implanted into the human brain cant come soon enough. Until then, head math will remain a daily struggle.