Michael Bisping: Ranger Up has a hard-on for me, uses my limelight to 'sell its shitty t-shirts'

USA TODAY Sports

The other day, I had a cool water sandwich and a Sunday-go-to-meeting bun. Bow bow bow. Whaddaya want for nothing? A meeeeaaaat biscuit?

Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) middleweight contender Michael Bisping is no stranger to Ranger Up.

The clothing company, according to its official website, "makes shirts for the military and the patriotic Americans who love the men and women of the Armed Forces." In addition, it has a history of sponsoring veterans, including Jorge Rivera, who lost to Bisping back at UFC 127.

But not before a hilarious pre-fight smear campaign (sample).

Considering the ugly circumstances in which the "Bisping vs. Rivera" fight ended (more on that here), it should come as no surprise to learn that Ranger Up has unleashed a new offensive against the British banger, who will throw down against former Green Beret Tim Kennedy next month on FOX Sports 1 (details).

See its latest comedic offering here.

As expected, "The Count" was not amused by the "I Am" video spoof, and doesn't appreciate the fact that Ranger Up is trying to piggyback on his stardom to try to "sell a few shitty t-shirts and jeans," less than three weeks out from The Ultimate Fighter (TUF): "Nations" live finale.

From his conversation with FOX Sports:

"If you look at their Instagram account, they have a picture everyday with my face. A stupid pose or something, meant to be funny and they have the hash tag #MeatBiscuit, which I just don't understand at all... They do seem to have a hard on for me. There's the fact that their product is obviously so s--t that they have to latch onto me, a fighter that's got nothing to do with their company, but they've got to latch onto me and take a bit of my star, a bit of my limelight without sounding like an asshole, to try and sell a few of their shitty t-shirts and jeans. I mean if you are bored enough like I am sometimes, you can go on their website and look at their clothing and holy shit, no wonder they're trying to use me to sell some of it, because I don't know who in their right mind would buy any of that shit. It's just fucking awful."

I defer to Urban Dictionary for "Meat Biscuit," since I assume Ranger Up is not referring to the portable desiccated soup bread invented by Gail Borden in 1849:

The fleshy sack that hangs below a male's shaft that varies in size, effectiveness, and hairiness.

Allllllrighty then.

Bisping (24-5) is ranked No. 5 in the official UFC rankings (see them here) -- three spots ahead of Kennedy (17-4) -- but hasn't competed since a technical decision win over Alan Belcher nearly a year ago at the UFC 159 pay-per-view (PPV) in New Jersey.

At 35 years of age, "The Count" cannot afford another loss if he hopes to preserve his spot in the 185-pound title hunt, so expect a performance that mirrors that urgency. And of course, a little bit of revenge against the rebarbative Yanks might not be so bad either.

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