Quitters, Inc.: Dan Henderson solves PED problem in MMA

USA TODAY Sports

Someone get on the wire and let Georges St. Pierre know we should have this thing wrapped up by the end of the month.

Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) light heavyweight Dan Henderson is still bummed over the recent ban on testosterone replacement therapy (TRT). Not because he doesn't advocate a fair and level playing field, but rather because the ruling hurts guys who are actually playing by the rules.

And not necessarily the ones who aren't.

With that in mind, "Hendo" would have preferred a better approach to drug testing. That includes random exams. And not random like, "Meet me in the latrine in one hour," random like [ding dong] "Hi, we're here for a plasma parfait and a cup of your finest lemonade."

From his conversation with FOX Sports.

"I feel like if they really wanted to make a statement they should have done more drug testing. Implemented no advance noticed, random drug testing. Show up guy's houses at odd hours and make them give blood and pee in a cup."

Or, you could go full Cat's Eye and start barbecuing felines, or just have a bruiser from the athletic commission show up and cut off the tip of your pinky finger for every failed drug test.

Why not? They have insurance!

While the UFC Fight Night 38 headliner is on the right track, that kind of protocol has been shot down in the past, primarily because nobody wants to pay for it. UFC points its finger at the commission, who gives UFC a finger right back (you can guess which one). Until then, we can ban TRT and roast Vitor Belfort on a spit claim moral victory.

Hooray!

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