FanPost

Never Call Your Girl Big Country




What's the advantage of having a wife/ girlfriend? For me, one of the biggest is not having to jerk myself off. A handjob with lotion? "No problem babe.be right there". A blow job just for asking? Most of the time, "Thanks hon, now no teef please." Dinner on the table when i get home after a hard days work? Well that's not happening, girl can't cook. Let me rephrase that, she's too lazy to cook. But that's ok, as long as she keeps the blowies coming i'm good eating take-out. If you're still reading at this point, i'm sure you're wondering what the fuck is this fool talking about and does he know this is an MMA website? Yes i do, now lets get to the point. I love MMA gotdammit, and i can't get enough. I watch it all, UFC, Bellator, WSOF, random shit from India, or somewhere in what looks like an Eastern Block country. No problem right? It's the golden age of mixed martial arts. One big problem, my girl hates MMA. Too violent she says, it's homoerotic. With all the rear naked chokes, or her favorite, the North, South position. Well, recently she asked me the usual girl shit : "Is my butt getting too big? Do i look fat?" 'No baby you look just fine to me i say. " Except for this time. I said to her, my girlfriend of 8 years, the love of my life,the girl that's given me thousands of orgasms, this time i said to her, "Come over here Big Country". Now she knows who Roy "Big Country" Nelson is.and thinks it's cute that a guy with a gut like that can still knock people out. This was the beginning of the end, girl went nuts. Called me every name in the book, but most hurtful of all, said i was hung like a field mouse. Ouch. That was 1 week ago.That day she put the lock on the cookie jar.Thankfully i've discovered a whole world of porn on the internet. I haven't pleasured myself this much since i was 15. The lesson here gentleman?Unless you want to spend hours in front of a computer screen with Mr Johnson in your hand, never call your girl Big Country.

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