FanPost

Hump Day Whine!

When you're with your girl and a hottie walks by!

Your instinctive reaction is, "Aw, snap! Lord Jesus! Mary, mother of Jesus, Jesus of Nazareth!" ..But alas, this is a classic trap and you can’t under any circumstances, look directly at these passing Victoria Secret princesses. No matter what! Your attention must always be given to the one who lets you sleep with them.

They say that risk and reward are directly related, but in this case, the risk greatly outweighs the reward. It's only the greedy fucks who think that they can have their cake and eat it too. Five seconds of babe staring isn't worth potentially dealing with five hours of girlfriend death staring, no fucking way! Speaking of, why do women think 'silent treatment' is a punishment? ahaha..

Babe staring never works, because just as quickly as you spot a hot girl, chances are, your girl will also spot her and changes her attention from the hottie, to you. And should you choose to look, you better believe they'll catch your peepin ass! And one of two things will happen: 1) They'll call you out on it right away and say something with a smug attitude such as, "Did you like what you saw?" or worse yet, 2) They wont say anything at all, but instead store it away in the 'fuck him up later' basket, until one day you fight and they throw that shit right back in your face.

The only thing you must do when this 'dangling carrot with the perfect ass and the perkiest of titties' situation happens, is your best Stevie Wonder impression. Anything less and you’re fucked, baybay!

Exhibit A:

Beckham_medium

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