FanPost

I Stole an iPad

I’ve purchased Apple products in the past. I’ve owned two iPhones, and work on a MacBook Pro. However, I meandered through Best Buy last night and came across the iPad Air. 32GB RAM and Wi-Fi of technological goodness calling to me from within the glass display cabinet.

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I asked the sales rep to let me take one so I could take it to the checkout stand. The kid reluctantly declined, telling me that it was policy to not hand them out there, but to get a ‘coupon’ so I could receive the hardware after I paid. Thankfully, my youngest child sat in the cart beside me. One sly pinch of the thigh later, and we had full-blown screams.


I pleaded with my eyes and words, begging the rep to let me bypass procedure and avoid having to sit in line with my crying kid. He relented and handed over the goods. With the iPad in hand, and a sucker in my kid’s mouth, I broke into a sprint towards the exit.

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Now Best Buy, and indirectly, Apple want to prosecute me for shoplifting. I simply wanted to show my support for their product, and now they want to go after me after taking what little money I had. It’s sickening. I hope they realize this will only hurt them in the long run. Sure, I could go over to a friend’s house with some buddies and use his iPad, but how does that solve the problem of me wanting to play Angry Birds on a bigger screen while I go to the bathroom? Riddle me that!

I’m sure you all can see this is not my fault. Best Buy is going to continue to display iPads whether I steal one or not. And what about all these 3rd world countries in which Apple is donating to "impoverished" brats for "learning purposes"? How is that fair that they get an iPad for free, and I have to fork out $599 USD? Hungry-child-2_medium

I mean really, a new version of these comes out each year. Apple can’t expect me to pay all that money just to use their gear. Some people can’t swing that kind of cash, which leaves the five-finger-discount as the only option. If they’d price these iPads more reasonably, people wouldn’t feel the need to rip them off. Besides, Apple has a ton of money, even if their developers are woefully underpaid. They’re not going to miss half a grand here or there. Serves them right for being such a greedy, evil, capitalistic corporation. (Take note OilCheck: there is another way to "stick it to the Man").

The way I see it, Apple has two choices: lower the price of their products (at which point I will complain about the new price and still shoplift), or lose me as an Apple fan boy forever. It seems like this whole deal with the police cuffing and tazing me is just a silly stunt to scare people into paying an arm and a leg for a product that has saturated the market and is failing anyway.

So, if you don’t see me post for a while, it’s because I didn’t make bail. Thankfully, I hear there’s a lawyer out of Vegas that will represent me for free.

* In case you didn’t figure this out already, I didn’t really steal an iPad. This post is simply a reminder of how much people will twist themselves to justify illegally streaming PPVs, with content taken almost verbatim from here: http://www.mmamania.com/2014/2/11/5400898/ufc-shuts-down-illegal-ppv-stream-seizes-website-records-prosecute-users-mma#comments

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