FanPost

Hump Day Whine!

Carrying all your groceries from the car in one trip!

The greatest battle never fought is between man and his own laziness.The only reason it'll never happen is because when you break it down, they're both really on the same team.

Laziness is the sole reason that when you're faced with a trunk full of groceries, you always feel compelled to try and carry all of them inside in one trip. If you stop and think about this situation for a minute you'd realize that it probably takes less time to just make two trips than it does wasting your time carefully loading up bag after bag until your palm space runs out, and then waddling to the front door like some 50 year old weightlifter in hopes of getting inside before one of the plastic bag handles tears apart.

There's a much larger risk factor that something will go wrong when you try to bring all your groceries inside in one trip. It’s funny because, without fail, we trick ourselves into doing it every single time.

The biggest hurdle to overcome is definitely opening and closing doors. These feats of strength require you to make the absolute most you can from a few loose fingers, because normally your hands are holding the weight of eleven stretched grocery bag handles and that’s all you can really manage to free without dropping any bags. If you're talented and experienced enough, you can employ the work of your ass, your elbows, chin and legs in this circumstance to open, hold, and close any doors.

What stings the most is when you're finally done loading up your arms with bags, and three steps into the journey a fucking orange falls out. A smart person would leave this fallen bastard behind and get it after, but then again, a smart person wouldnt be trying to carry everything all in one go in the first place. What always happens next is that you bend down and try to pick up the orange, and in the process three bag handles tear apart sending half the groceries all over the floor. Que, Rage Guy..

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