I hate to be the one to bring this up, fellow fight fans, but some of us need a little help with our courtship.
Fortunately, Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Octagon Girl Brittney Palmer is here to help you in your quest to go home with the best-looking babe at the party. And I know what you're thinking ... "What would a buxom babe like Ms. P know about house parties?"
She once dated a fat guy because he was funny (true story), so she's not afraid to mix things up with the common man.
That said, she was kind enough to share a few pearls of wisdom with the gang at FHM, including her top four tips for going home a winner when it counts.
Have a look.
1. Do bring girls
The theory here, is that if you walk into a party with a bunch of ladies, you will appear to be the kind of guy who knows his way around a woman. Then again, if you can make a few phone calls and round up women on your own, you've probably reached the point where you don't need advice on how to score.
2. Don't bring guys
Perhaps you planned on sticking your buddy with the fat chick, but in reality, you'll more than likely end up driving his drunk ass home after he swings and misses with the hottest girl at the party -- prior to puking his guts out in the downstairs bathroom. Avoid at all costs.
3. Do drink shots first
Now this is something I can get behind. It's much easier to talk to a good-looking girl -- and handle her rejection -- when you're loose and relaxed, instead of blabbering on about how much you lift at the gym (spoiler: no one cares). Just don't pull a Tito.
4. Don't get too drunk
Don't get drunk, period. Parties are best with a nice buzz and a ride home (preferably in her car). If you can't remember what you did the night before and wake up with a face that looks like an East Side subway car via Beat Street, then you probably shouldn't have bothered going in the first place.
I have a tip of my own.
Beware of the camera phone. Just remember that every ass you grab and all the tequila shots you take have the potential of ending up on someone else's Facebook page. I'm sure the last thing your significant other wants to see in her timeline is, "There's Paulie getting Taiter'd at Spanky's house party!"
I miss the old days of Polaroid, when the camera weighed 60 pounds and you couldn't take a picture without blinding half the guests. Even then, you could still destroy the evidence, if you had quick hands, as the undeveloped negative would shoot clear across the room.