I have great news for all you small business owners who keep getting jerked around by the geek squad every time your computer shits the bed.
If they don't repair your equipment in a timely fashion, or run up the bill as they bury you under technical jargon, simply call Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Women's Bantamweight Champion Ronda Rousey, and she will beat them pillar to post.
(hold for applause)
Rousey is "The Insureon Protector," which means she's kind of like that Nationwide guy who sings a jingle and transports you to safety. But why teleport out of danger when you can sit back and watch "Rowdy" armbar a bunch of hapless nerds?
"We wanted to do something different to highlight that small-business owners have someone in their corner 24-7," said Ted Devine, CEO of Insureon. "Ronda Rousey as the Insureon Protector perfectly exemplifies our commitment to protecting the little guy. We will use YouTube and digital media to send the message that the real heroes of the U.S. economy have Insureon and the Insureon Protector to help them and protect their businesses."
The new face of women's mixed martial arts (MMA), whose mother was a small business owner, will try to give Miesha Tate the business as coach on The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) 18 (details here), before granting "Cupcake" a rematch later this year.
Until then, look for her new brand of justice in the dark alleys behind your local Best Buy.